On the 21st March 2014, I met someone who had changed my life, but not in the way you think.

I was just beginning my career in infosec at the age of 19 when I met a man very briefly at a security meetup, who I'd then learn over the course of many, many difficult years to have been the person responsible for stalking, harassing, hacking, threatening, and defaming me.

He made sure the things he did to me left me scared and shaken. I was terrified for years about my safety, my job, my mother, and living almost every day with this paranoid tick in the back of my head thinking and stirring on what he was going to do next.

I battled with the police for my story to be heard and taken seriously without success, and shared my experiences and trauma with some that only offered disbelief. I fought against a current that felt too strong, to the point where I wanted to allow myself to drown.

My family, friends, and peers pulled me back up in those moments, which I will be eternally grateful for.

I'm so tired of trying to keep this experience internalised, and being scared about how people would think and react to the experiences I've been through.

There's been so many times where I've wanted to vanish from this industry where harassment is so rampant, because that might give me a better chance at not having to go through this again.

The biggest question that sits with me everyday is: "Why is this happening to me?" and honestly, it's so funny to even have to think about something like that. There have been so many others in similar positions that are not heard or believed, and it's heartbreaking.

It's heartbreaking to not only go through something like this, but to go through it while also being afraid of if your experiences would be believed, and if anything would change, or if speaking up about it will feed the beast because it's me showing a reaction.

I used to be scared about how writing like something like this on a public forum would affect my professionalism - as if it was a call for help.

I now realise that there's a lot more that I could have done to speak up -- and that others could do to address situations like this in an industry where it's so prevalent. Please believe victims and support others. No one deserves to go through something like this.