THREAD: Sometimes, even when you are a trauma survivor yourself, and even without meaning to, you can trigger trauma in others.

I am certain I have done this.

When James Baldwin said that to be Black in this country and "relatively conscious" was to be in a state of rage almost all the time, he was talking about trauma, trauma caused by the "indifference" and "ignorance" of white people. Notice he didn't say anything about intent.

If you are not Black, and especially if you are white, no matter how much trauma you have, nearly every Black person you meet will have layers of trauma that you just never will and therefore cannot understand. Generational, constant, societal and personal trauma.

Knowing that you can't and will never fully be able to understand a Black person's trauma should help you pause and think before interacting with that person in a charged atmosphere.

The reality is that as white people, our indifference, our ignorance, and on especially hard days our mere presence can trigger real trauma in a Black person. That's why Black-only spaces are *essential*.

That can be hard to swallow when we don't intend harm, but it just IS.

It's fine to extend empathy to anyone who says they have experienced trauma. Just remember that Black people nearly always carry trauma no matter what, and as such, they need empathy.

Also, someone can both experience trauma and traumatize others, and that complicates matters.

If you had an abuser, and they were attacked and hurt, you might have a hard time feeling empathy toward your abuser. And even if you did feel empathy with them, if someone else prioritized your abuser's trauma over yours, that might re-traumatize you all over again.

Sometimes you can manage a situation more delicately if you just give it a little thought beforehand. And if you mangle it, regardless of intent—which we probably all have—take accountability.

Other times, if you sense there is nothing you can say that will be helpful—because sometimes when emotions are running high and you are part of the trigger, that will be the case—it is okay to just not say anything and give someone their space.

As usual, I have @FruitKace to thank for helping me see things from a more nuanced perspective. She's not just a good cook, y'all.