‘Settling’ in a relationship isn’t dating a guy who is 5ft 8 when you wanted someone who is 6ft.

It’s compromising your values and boundaries. It’s being in a relationship that doesn’t add to your happiness. It’s disregarding your needs. It’s dismissing your non-negotiables.

Waking up to interesting quote tweets. Some people think dating someone who doesn’t fit your ideal physical spec 100%, is settling. If that’s the case, the majority of people are settling then because we rarely have 100% of our partner’s ideal spec... They just don’t tell us.

Whether that’s your partner preferring green eyes, curly hair, a more muscular body, a bigger bum, etc. Hard pill to swallow but just because your partner is attracted to you doesn’t mean you ticked off 100% of their ‘list’.

Don’t get me wrong, attraction is super important. I never said it wasn’t. I just picked out one physical feature as an example to highlight how the person that is best for you doesn’t always fit your spec 100%. But that doesn’t mean you settled by choosing who is best for you...

Many people are dating someone who could be more athletic, curvier, richer, prettier... Many people are dating someone they find attractive, but still think other people are more attractive than their partner. Yet they don’t feel like they settled, because their needs are met.

If you deem certain physical features like a girl having a large bum or a man being 6ft an absolute need for you, then fair enough. You will always feel like you settled if the feature is high on your ‘important things’ list and your partner doesn’t have it.

I guess my general point is when we discuss settling, it’s usually in the context of choosing to be with someone who isn’t as good as you deserve and who doesn’t meet your needs. And I think for most of us, this goes beyond them not possessing one physical trait that we like.