how many of your thoughts aren't actually in your own "voice"? there have been periods of time where thoughts I would have would be spoken in the literal voice of the person who instilled that pattern of thinking in me--parents, partners, influential mentors, the internet

I think part of the reason young people can have so much trouble finding their own voices and identities--besides just being young--is the repetition of a very slim number of roles and characters in media, and the slim set of ways media indicates we're allowed to _react_ to stuff

when I think about who I am now and who I want to be, I can't think of any mainstream character or celebrity that fits

only the occasional barely documented person that I get a hint I might be like. & my path is unusual but honestly fairly garden variety in its larger archetype

sometimes I find myself thinking in memes, embodying the "voice" and humor and tone. "that's such a vibe," I hear myself think

but I don't think that way; those aren't my words, and the tone doesn't reflect my personality

I wonder at the accumulated micro-instances of this

that's not even to mention what I look like vs how everyone in 99% of media I consume look. I had a whole thing about my nose and profile

at some point in life I adopted a hardcore "kill your idols" stance, and I think all of this may have been why.

false [personal] prophets

every impression is a slippery slope to the next one and I want to endeavor to improve them

you can't avoid thoughts or impressions but you can construct a quarantine zone in your mind between your perception and the part of you that considers things You

out the airlock with em