Passing along some good advice: When entering grad school, a friend told me to write down the non-negotiable things that sustained my well-being and joy. She said no matter how difficult and hard things get, never negotiate on your list. that list kept me going all six years.

Important! @SoWrightUrWrong gave me this invaluable advice #citeblackwomen

So this tweet spurred a lot conversation. I want to pull together some additional advice from Twitter and Instagram. A thread:

1. Having a list of non-negotiables and personal priorities is important for LIFE! (Grad school, tenure track, business, relationships, etc)

2. t is never too late to make your list. You can jot it down now, tonight, tomorrow, this weekend.
3. Consistently assess your list to ensure it still serves you and, when necessary, add more! Sometimes you don’t know what you need until you’re knee deep.

4. Your list is YOUR LIST. Others don’t have to understand or validate what you need.
5. It is deep, radical, and hard work to tap into your most authentic self and prioritize your true needs and desires in a world that can sometimes extract all of your time, energy, and joy.

6. Sometimes we feel that the only way to success is to let go of and bend our priorities. But what is it worth it to gain the world and loose your soul?
7. Add your non-negotiables as appointments in your weekly schedule.

8. For those in academia at any phase, make a list of your bigger why. Trust me “because I want a PhD” or (in my case) the prospects of tenure is not enough to sustain the hard days.

So for those who asked, here are some of my non-negotiables. They are NOT in order of importance.

1. Keep my nails painted. They make me happy as I type.
2. Take a day off from work at least once a week. For me that is Sundays.

3. Maintain friendships and relationships OUTSIDE of the academy. It provides prospective on the magnitude and minuteness of our work.
4. Spend time outside daily. Cause vitamin D.
5. Give back to my local community.

6. Exercise. This completely fell off my list when I was on the job market and it had huge impacts on my mind, stress, and physical health. It’s back on the priority list and scheduled!

7. Prioritize my spiritual life. For me this means attending church and having daily prayer and mediation. We all have different needs and this one is core for me.
8. There's more on my list but also having boundaries in what I choose share at work is non-negotiable.