me if i had no critical thinking skills: https://twitter.com/username_chunx/status/1356664912613789696

y’all continually subject us to your surface level understanding of domestic abuse & i’m tired. mutual abuse is a highly disputed concept by experts on the topic. many aren’t even convinced it exists, let alone at the level you people seem to think it does.

stop being lazy with these takes because you’re spreading harmful ideas that shame, silence, and unfairly portray victims who fight back against their abusers from speaking up for fear of being labeled crazy and abusive themselves.

amber’s behavior in that relationship was an example of situational violence, not abuse. she reacted to the abuse she had endured for YEARS. you can’t put a victim on the same level as their abuser just because they retaliated.

amber endured years of him chipping away at her sanity through emotional & physical abuse. she didn’t choose to hit him out of nowhere. this is such a delicate topic. there are so many factors not being considered & so much more nuance that isn’t being given to this conversation

it’s not as black and white as “she hit him once so she’s abusive.” the pattern of behavior matters. the power dynamic in the relationship matters. the context and reason behind the physical violence matters.

one hits their partner to control, intimidate, and demean them. the other, in response, does it out of self-preservation, fear, indignation, an attempt to gain back their independence, etc.

and the violence was never on the same level. there is a clear pattern of her using physical violence on rare occasions as a direct response to HIS violence and aggression and the threat it posed to her.

anyway here’s some helpful sources if y’all are interested in educating yourselves on the topic

study on domestic violence victims who fight back: https://digitalcommons.law.yale.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?referer=https://www.google.com/&httpsredir=1&article=1279&context=yjlf

the myth of mutual abuse: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/the-myth-of-mutual-abuse/