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If someone had just talked to me about trans people and gender and what nonbinary means, I could have figured out that I was trans like a decade before I did.
Even as a child I knew I never wanted to be a man. I never talked to anyone about it, but I hated the idea.
Even as a child I knew I never wanted to be a man. I never talked to anyone about it, but I hated the idea.
I cried when I started growing visible facial hair. I tried to deny it for weeks, "no it's not that bad I don't need to start shaving nope no"
I'm 30 now and I'm still not on HRT because of *various life reasons* and there's a part of me, and I try not to be like this too much, but there's a part of me that's deeply angry about the years I've wasted.
During the time where I knew something was wrong but I didn't know what, I developed a bunch of hangups that are making this harder for me now.
I desperately hated the idea of ever being a stereotypical creepy horny teenage guy, so I taught myself to never talk about sex. Or about attraction. Or about even what I wanted to look like myself. And those hangups are still there.
I've had a lot of time to think about these things, but especially during the pandemic. And I've come to the conclusion that I can't wait any more. I can't keep waiting to live my life. I can't keep waiting to be who I am.
So consider this practice
Hi, I'm Ash. Or Ashley. I'm still figuring that out.
I'm a genderfluid nonbinary trans girl.
I wanna get on HRT and have boobs. I don't know if I want bottom surgery or not.
Hi, I'm Ash. Or Ashley. I'm still figuring that out.
I'm a genderfluid nonbinary trans girl.
I wanna get on HRT and have boobs. I don't know if I want bottom surgery or not.
I'm a polyamorous demisexual and I'm still trying to teach myself to be ok with my own sexuality.
I'm not sexually attracted to most people, but that doesn't mean I'm not as much of a horny mess as the rest of you are. I have no idea how to express that though.
I'm not sexually attracted to most people, but that doesn't mean I'm not as much of a horny mess as the rest of you are. I have no idea how to express that though.
Being polyamorous is strongly entwined with being demisexual (for me). I wouldn't know how to function as a demisexual person without being polyamorous.
I'm primarily attracted to girls and other nonbinary people. I don't call myself a lesbian because that label is scary to me for some reason, but if you'd have to label my orientation it's the one that fits the best.
It's not that I necessarily want to sleep around, but I want to get to a point where sex is a little bit less of a big deal to me. I don't want it to feel like a life or death situation to express attraction to someone, and it kind of does right now lol
I'm intensely bad at flirting with people, except for the two or three humans on the planet that I feel safe with. I have a hard time knowing what is okay for me to say, so I tend to lean on the (very) safe side.
Even calling my friends cute is hard for me. There's this voice inside my head that's like "oh no you're expressing an appreciation for someone's appearance this is what those CREEPY SEX PEST MEN you don't wanna be like do"
Which is ridiculous, I don't hold anyone else to this standard so why do I hold myself to it?
All my friends are cuties tho especially the trans people. If you're reading this and you're a mutual, you're cute. Sorry!
I'm rambling and running out of steam so I'm going back into hiding now bye
