Living without western imports challenge

Day 1: I have forsaken western tooth and body cleaning technologies

Reluctantly, I took public transport to work. The bus is horrifyingly of German make. The fuel within is harvested from the Middle East, which is West of our Land. Disgusting.

I breathe a sigh of relief. My MRT carriage is of the Kawasaki variety instead of Bombardier. Our children are saved from divisive Canadian trains.

As I type these Tweets, I concentrate on the fact that Chinese hands crafted this California-designed phone. I think fondly of my Eastern brothers and sisters, free of the tyranny of Western influence

Arriving at work, I almost faint. These Brutalist buildings exert their British menace on our society. I long for the curves of mosques and pagodas.

My colleagues stare at my hanfu and asks me it is Racial Harmony Day. I scoff and frown at their Oxford shirts, jeans and sneakers. The moral decay of my generation is so deep.

My boss asks me for my monthly report. I look at him, puzzled, until I realised he too has succumbed to the ideology of the Gregorian calendar. I despair quietly.