Read on Twitter
friends is it time to have a talk about purity culture and how it's infiltrated lots of left wing spaces disguised as 'respect for women' and 'keeping it respectful' but is actually leading to infantilizing adults who can make their own choices, body negativity, and kink shaming?
Yes, it's true, you can both 'keep things respectful' and also be adults who recognize that sex is a thing that people have, want, and understand sometimes the sex is beyond what you personally want AND THAT IT IS NOT WRONG JUST BECAUSE IT IS NOT PERSONALLY YOUR THING
context matters! It is bad when a character in a game wears a chainmail bikini because it reinforces the male gaze and perpetuates the beauty standard of skinny white female bodies as the ideal.
It is not bad when a cosplayer wears one because THEY ARE A HUMAN BEING WITH AGENCY
It is not bad when a cosplayer wears one because THEY ARE A HUMAN BEING WITH AGENCY
SURE, if you want to argue that they shouldn't be wearing one in various contexts (children at the venue, a funeral) sure! but for gods sake every damn year there's an argument about whether fetish gear is appropriate at pride.
PRIDE. THE EVENT CELEBRATING PEOPLE BEING THEMSELF
PRIDE. THE EVENT CELEBRATING PEOPLE BEING THEMSELF
I have been silent on this for a while now because I wanted to let the sex workers or feminist advocates take the mic but damn it I am really sick to the gills of this infiltration of purity culture. IT IS POISON. It assumes that people cannot be held responsible for their own
bodies, choices, and desires! Think of the damn schools telling girls they can't wear spaghetti straps but writ large. Don't tweet about your kinks. keep it in the bedroom. don't be horny on main.
I want to be very clear: F U C K T H A T
I want to be very clear: F U C K T H A T
the whole point of the sex and body positivity movements is to free people from the shackles of societal standards! NOT TO CREATE NEW ONES.
and that INCLUDES the freedom to say 'yeah this is private for me' YEAH THAT'S FINE some of you weirdos don't like peanut butter THAT'S OK
and that INCLUDES the freedom to say 'yeah this is private for me' YEAH THAT'S FINE some of you weirdos don't like peanut butter THAT'S OK
but you cannot then tell everyone how to be under the banner of 'what about the women and children' or whatfuckingever because guess who waves that playbook around?
THE TRANSPHOBES.
THE HOMOPHOBES.
Puritanical anti-sex culture is a wedge issue that covers for bigotry
THE TRANSPHOBES.
THE HOMOPHOBES.
Puritanical anti-sex culture is a wedge issue that covers for bigotry
THIS IS NOT NEW for gods sake they've been saying it for decades! interracial marriage will lead to the downfall of society! gay marriage downfall society! trans people downfall society! only they say things like gender rights and bathroom safety because they know the downfall
thing sounds bad!
SO
if someone wants to post nudes and discuss sex in their personal Internet space
THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO
'but what if these acts are potentially harmful and reinforce dangerous thinking and norms?'
good question!
SO
if someone wants to post nudes and discuss sex in their personal Internet space
THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO
'but what if these acts are potentially harmful and reinforce dangerous thinking and norms?'
good question!
I cannot remember where I read this but 'the aesthetics of harm are not harm' is a sentence I read recently that made a lot of sense. Just as a movie where the hero kills a ton of bad guys is understood to be entertainment and not an encouragement to commit mass murder...
ditto that argument but for whatever 'harmful' sexual practice.
also this is why content warnings exist!
so people who might be harmed by any content can choose not to view it!
choice! that is the core of everything I am saying here
also this is why content warnings exist!
so people who might be harmed by any content can choose not to view it!
choice! that is the core of everything I am saying here
'people can choose to do what they want as long as they don't hurt anyone' is like, the core of a lot of ethical frameworks.
afaik there's no framework that adds 'unless it's sexy' to the end of that.
sex can be fulfilling, joyful, and SAFE. Stop talking for the BS thinking
afaik there's no framework that adds 'unless it's sexy' to the end of that.
sex can be fulfilling, joyful, and SAFE. Stop talking for the BS thinking
that says something sexual is automatically harmful BECAUSE GUESS WHAT that's how you stigmatize things and get laws like sex workers being criminalized and stop people from leading healthy fulfilled lives just because you've bought into puritanical thinking!!
holy shit apparently I had an entire thread in me!
final point 'what about the kids' kids should learn about sex in ways that is age and development appropriate, also see the part about CONTENT WARNINGS above.
you also have to accept that minors have sexual interests and that
final point 'what about the kids' kids should learn about sex in ways that is age and development appropriate, also see the part about CONTENT WARNINGS above.
you also have to accept that minors have sexual interests and that
is normal and if you are a guardian or parent you have a responsibility not to give them a complex about their body and their sexuality by unlearning this shit and internalizing healthier attitudes and then talking to them about things like consent and sexuality and gender
and all the other things that puritans hide from kids and mess them up sometimes for life
OK I'M DONE 'but Calvin what abouts' will not be entertained I do not have the spoons and will probably block you. honest questions to the front.
OK I'M DONE 'but Calvin what abouts' will not be entertained I do not have the spoons and will probably block you. honest questions to the front.
I found where I originally read the phrase, thanks @mediocreelf, it really stuck with me https://twitter.com/MediocreElf/status/1339223942502944780?s=20
Getting some questions about kink at pride, to which I suggest reading @reisss's piece for @PinkNews https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2020/06/15/pride-month-kink-fetish-parades-children-families-leather-rubber/
I did not expect this thread to resonate like it did, if you learned anything consider a tip http://ko-fi.com/ithayla either to me or a sex educator or sex worker near you.
