Steve Scalise Instagram would be like:

“So I just heard this guy yell something like about healthcare and a bullet like totally ripped through my hip shattering like my femur and damaging sort of internal organs and stuff but all I could see was like a black man and woman…”

“… looking like VERY aggressive and hostile and they like raised their guns in my direction and I thought maybe they meant to like harm me even though they were Capitol police officers and I couldn’t help but wonder if their aggressive behavior CAUSED the man to shoot me…”

“… but like thankfully they shot the shooter instead even though they looked REALLY aggressive in the middle of a shooting but I barely lived at least which could have been much worse so yeah.”