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If you're just now finding out that people might find you disruptive or obnoxious and wondering why nobody has said anything to you in the past, here's my un-asked-for perspective as someone who has run public events for years and who attends others' events as often as possible:
1.) Just because someone runs an event doesn't mean they're not conflict-averse. A lot of rpers are. They worry they'll offend if they ask someone to chill or fit the mood better. Actually MODERATING events is learned, not innate, and can be a challenge for many.
1b.) Many event-runners hope that the people who attend know how to politely monitor themselves. If they're running a chill bar event, they hope that the people who attend will be chill. If they're running a lecture, they hope people won't interrupt.
2.) Backlash. This is a two-part issue. The first part is... If someone is already being disruptive BEFORE you ask them to stop, you run the risk of them behaving EVEN WORSE after. Are you ready for more chat spam? Are you ready for toy spam? Slurs? Spell spam? People do that.
2b.) Social backlash: If you ask a Big Name or a Friend of a Big Name, or even a PERCEIVED Big Name to change their behavior... They might straight up blacklist your event and discourage their large following from attending in future. Don't kid yourself, there ARE consequences.
Finally, and this is tangential... Nobody who isn't the event runner is going to ask you to chill during an event. They feel it isn't their place. They may not even approach the event runner with their concerns for fear of being blacklisted as an attendee.
Don't put the burden of self-reflection on others. Simply ask yourself "Might people have to mute or ignore me in order to continue what they were doing before my behavior commenced?" That's really all event runners ask of attendees. Truly.
