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LRTs: yeah, there's a huge difference between "i can't be friends with you because i need to support someone you abused and i can't do that effectively if i'm still palling around with you" and "everyone in the world should cut off all association with you forever"
there are people who abused me who have grown, changed & become better people who wouldn't do that again, which i think is genuinely the best possible outcome. i still carry the trauma and don't want to be alone with them, but i don't think Justice means making them Alone Forever
and for other people, like, what i want most for them is for them to have a stable life with people who know them and hold them to account and are like "hey, that thing you're doing is Not Cool, but i'm on your side and want to help you process and improve"
i don't think the best outcome is "starve to death in the streets". i don't think that building a world where that is what happens means building a world more full of justice than ours is currently. i don't like that world
i think, very frequently, abuse thrives on secrecy, thrives on power imbalances, thrives on people not knowing what they need to know until it's too late. and kicking someone into a new community where no one knows anything about them . . . doesn't help these things be known
idk! i don't think these are easy problems, but that's sort of why i think "everyone should cut all ties with anyone who did anything abusive ever" is too simplistic to account for the nuances of the world, esp given that survivors and perpetrators can be the same people
but i feel like the world is a big enough place that two different people can have two different non-overlapping sets of friends and it's fine, you know? there are So Many People on earth
