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HOW LOTR CHARACTERS WOULD REACT TO YOU COMING OUT AS TRANS
THREAD.
THREAD.
FRODO
Tells you that's lovely to hear, then respects your privacy and asks no further questions.
Tells you that's lovely to hear, then respects your privacy and asks no further questions.
SAMWISE
Is immensely proud of you and asks if you have advice on how to come out and tell Mr Frodo he loves him (yea I went there)
Is immensely proud of you and asks if you have advice on how to come out and tell Mr Frodo he loves him (yea I went there)
MERRY AND PIPPIN
Merry congratulates you, but calls you by your deadname by accident. Pippin smacks him and tells him that's rude and makes a big show of using your new name.
The two walk off discussing a plan to take testosterone to get taller and eat more.
Merry congratulates you, but calls you by your deadname by accident. Pippin smacks him and tells him that's rude and makes a big show of using your new name.
The two walk off discussing a plan to take testosterone to get taller and eat more.
ARAGORN
Grasps both your hands immediately, locks eyes with you, and says that this changes nothing between the two of you and your bond is in fact stronger now. He vows to fight anyone that dares misgender you.
Grasps both your hands immediately, locks eyes with you, and says that this changes nothing between the two of you and your bond is in fact stronger now. He vows to fight anyone that dares misgender you.
GIMLI
Launches into an explanation of the blurred differences between male and female dwarves and says he never understood the gender norms of humans anyway. Offers to imprint your new name into your armour.
Launches into an explanation of the blurred differences between male and female dwarves and says he never understood the gender norms of humans anyway. Offers to imprint your new name into your armour.
LEGOLAS
Haughtily mentions that you haven't lived long enough for him to put much weight into your deadname anyway and that switching names and pronouns is as easy as watching the seasons change.
Haughtily mentions that you haven't lived long enough for him to put much weight into your deadname anyway and that switching names and pronouns is as easy as watching the seasons change.
GANDALF
Says he's known for a long time already and then tells you the story of an old hero that was also trans. When you ask him to use his magic to change your body, he simply chuckles, says he has somewhere to go, and walks off
Says he's known for a long time already and then tells you the story of an old hero that was also trans. When you ask him to use his magic to change your body, he simply chuckles, says he has somewhere to go, and walks off
SMEAGOL
Deadnames you, then beats himself up for being cruel and wicked and tells you he's trying his best
Deadnames you, then beats himself up for being cruel and wicked and tells you he's trying his best
GOLLUM
Deadnames you, then beats himself up for being cruel and wicked and tells you he's trying his best, but is really just fucking with you so he can steal your jewelry
Deadnames you, then beats himself up for being cruel and wicked and tells you he's trying his best, but is really just fucking with you so he can steal your jewelry
BOROMIR
Looks visibly confused and says "one does not simply change their gender."
Eventually understands, but misgenders you whenever he's stressed or in a bad mood.
Looks visibly confused and says "one does not simply change their gender."
Eventually understands, but misgenders you whenever he's stressed or in a bad mood.
FARAMIR
*looks at Denethor on what to do*
*looks at Denethor on what to do*
DENETHOR
Loudly deadnames you to his court, says that people can't change genders and you are practicing wicked magic. Decrees that trans people need to use the chamber pots of their birth sex.
Loudly deadnames you to his court, says that people can't change genders and you are practicing wicked magic. Decrees that trans people need to use the chamber pots of their birth sex.
FARAMIR (again)
Wipes away a tear as she realises she'll never be able to come out to her father.
Wipes away a tear as she realises she'll never be able to come out to her father.
ELROND
Shows mild disinterest other than mentioning that Elves have been GNC for millenia.
Shows mild disinterest other than mentioning that Elves have been GNC for millenia.
ARWEN
Says "that's nice" and then goes back to not doing anything for two movies
Says "that's nice" and then goes back to not doing anything for two movies
EOWYN
Depending on who you are, either vows to become battle sisters, admires you for joining Rohan's fighting men, or just admires you for defying society's gender binary.
Depending on who you are, either vows to become battle sisters, admires you for joining Rohan's fighting men, or just admires you for defying society's gender binary.
GALADRIEL
Gives a mysterious smile, says something she read off a fortune cookie, then gives you a gift that fits your new gender.
Gives a mysterious smile, says something she read off a fortune cookie, then gives you a gift that fits your new gender.
WORMTONGUE
Uses your name and pronouns to your face, but deadnames and misgenders you to everyone else while trying to convince people you're a danger to Rohan women's sports.
Uses your name and pronouns to your face, but deadnames and misgenders you to everyone else while trying to convince people you're a danger to Rohan women's sports.
SARUMAN
Ominously offers you the power to change your form...but at a cost. When you turn him down, he locks you on his roof for a while.
Ominously offers you the power to change your form...but at a cost. When you turn him down, he locks you on his roof for a while.
THE EAGLES
Nothing. They don't show up until you finished transitioning.
Nothing. They don't show up until you finished transitioning.
THEODEN
If you're a trans femme, tells you to get out of his army. If you're trans masc, tells you to grab a spear and join the fight. If you're non-binary, pauses for a while then just asks if you want to kill some orcs.
If you're a trans femme, tells you to get out of his army. If you're trans masc, tells you to grab a spear and join the fight. If you're non-binary, pauses for a while then just asks if you want to kill some orcs.
THE ORCS
You tell them you're a trans woman that wants bottom surgery. They say this:
You tell them you're a trans woman that wants bottom surgery. They say this:
WITCH KING OF ANGMAR
Freaks the absolute fuck out when they can't figure out what this means for the prophecy
Freaks the absolute fuck out when they can't figure out what this means for the prophecy
SAURON
*angry eye noises*
*angry eye noises*
TREEBEARD
Expresses confusion and admit he can't actually tell the difference between the genders of the small races. Tells you he'll explain about Ent womenfolk, but never follows up on that.
Expresses confusion and admit he can't actually tell the difference between the genders of the small races. Tells you he'll explain about Ent womenfolk, but never follows up on that.
TOM BOMBADIL
Giggles like an asshole and says some shit about butterflies and sunshine. You never see him again and you wonder what the point of coming out to him was.
Giggles like an asshole and says some shit about butterflies and sunshine. You never see him again and you wonder what the point of coming out to him was.
GROND
Throws a gender reveal party for you involving fireworks. The explosion destroys the sewer gate of Helm's Deep, spelling doom for the Age of Man.
Throws a gender reveal party for you involving fireworks. The explosion destroys the sewer gate of Helm's Deep, spelling doom for the Age of Man.
BILBO (fuck how did I forget Bilbo)
Expresses amazement and invites you to sit down for a cup of tea and pipeweed as he asks many questions for him to include as an appendix item in his book.
Expresses amazement and invites you to sit down for a cup of tea and pipeweed as he asks many questions for him to include as an appendix item in his book.
*looks directly at camera*
You know, we had a lot of fun today, but you know what's not fun? Raising money as a trans person. If you want to make that easier for some people, please consider donating to a trans charity today: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/politics/a32870451/how-to-help-black-trans-lives-donate/
You know, we had a lot of fun today, but you know what's not fun? Raising money as a trans person. If you want to make that easier for some people, please consider donating to a trans charity today: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/politics/a32870451/how-to-help-black-trans-lives-donate/
Some people have complained to me about the way I handled Boromir's characterisation, and I hope that, like Boromir, you enjoy dying on this hill
