I don't know where the idea of the irredeemable forever-abuser came from, but it's become pervasive within queer community. I've said before, there are people who I would rather break a bone than ever see again, but those people deserve friends, housing, employment, and a life.
This idea of the puppetmaster abuser who sneakily avoids accountability is so easily employed against basically anybody, because once people have decided that you are evil, everything you do can be framed through that lens, and any mistake you inevitably make is further proof.
Show me a person in the queer community who hasn't done something they regret. We're a community made up of late-bloomers, addicts, and survivors. It hurts deeply to understand that other members of our community will inevitably try to destroy you, no matter who you are.
Again, there are people I never ever want to see or talk to. People who have harmed me and who I am scared of. But it is not my place to demand that they be ostracized by everyone who knows them, or to threaten their ability to survive. They deserve housing, they deserve friends.
I guess the point of this is that I am deeply suspicious of any call for accountability that assumes that a person is so dedicated to evil that they're irredeemable, or that a person is such a dangerous abuse chessmaster that they don't deserve any friends or support.
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