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I don't make a big song and dance about it, but I have to. Somebody asks "what's her name?" when I talk about my fiancé. My tax preparer asks about my marital status. A delivery person handing me a package for John asks if he's my roommate. I don't intend to come out, it happens.
The *first* time I came out was to myself and it was a horrible, drawn-out, traumatic experience. The second time was a wild, random, are-you-like-me gamble (he wasn't). At a rate of once per week I've come out at least 1,196 times in my life. Each time is still taking a risk.
(Not counting that time at @BrazilJS where I came out to the entire audience of 1,400 people in the final slide of my talk in a notably conservative country. I've never heard a whole room gasp at the same time before. Career peak coming-out experience there, I think)
Sometimes coming out is fun, sometimes it's traumatic, it's always nerve-wracking but mostly what it is after 23 years of doing it all the time is incredibly boring. The assumption of heterosexuality is constant, the constant correction wearying.
Heterosexual people, I don't know what to tell you. I don't have some grand point. Me and my queer comrades are just really, really bored of coming out all the time. Consider removing this default from your life. Thanks.
