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open this thread if you’re a victim of abuse 
everyone else, please RT to help people find this.
p.s. there are TONS of resources at the end for identifying, validating, and coping with trauma. think of it as a compilation of all my affirming trauma-related content. :)
everyone else, please RT to help people find this.p.s. there are TONS of resources at the end for identifying, validating, and coping with trauma. think of it as a compilation of all my affirming trauma-related content. :)
The abuse wasn’t your fault.
They gave you their own guilt to carry because they were selfish. They blamed you so they didn’t have to change. They tricked you to avoid responsibility. They LIED. You are good and always were. Listen: it’s impossible to *cause* abuse to happen.
They gave you their own guilt to carry because they were selfish. They blamed you so they didn’t have to change. They tricked you to avoid responsibility. They LIED. You are good and always were. Listen: it’s impossible to *cause* abuse to happen.
Yes, the abuse really happened.
Gaslighting is a technique abusers use to corrode a victim’s reality. If you’re questioning whether traumatic events even happened, that’s undeniable evidence that you *were *abused, because questioning your reality is a symptom of gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a technique abusers use to corrode a victim’s reality. If you’re questioning whether traumatic events even happened, that’s undeniable evidence that you *were *abused, because questioning your reality is a symptom of gaslighting.
Yes, the abuse *was* that bad.
People who haven’t been abused don’t spend time agonizing over how bad it was. We tend to minimize our abuse because it’s hard to wrap our heads around such pain or we’ve been taught that we aren’t allowed to have feelings about it. But we are.
People who haven’t been abused don’t spend time agonizing over how bad it was. We tend to minimize our abuse because it’s hard to wrap our heads around such pain or we’ve been taught that we aren’t allowed to have feelings about it. But we are.
You’re allowed to be angry about the abuse.
In the situation you were in, you probably weren’t allowed to be angry. Or maybe your anger was punished, ignored, and shamed. Well, I’m here to tell you that you’re allowed to be angry. Righteous indignation is healthy and valid.
In the situation you were in, you probably weren’t allowed to be angry. Or maybe your anger was punished, ignored, and shamed. Well, I’m here to tell you that you’re allowed to be angry. Righteous indignation is healthy and valid.
You don’t have to forgive your abuser.
Society likes to spread this message around that “forgiveness is the only way to heal.” I call bullshit. If you’ve been abused, you don’t have to forgive them. What they did was abhorrent. You can heal without forgiveness. I promise you.
Society likes to spread this message around that “forgiveness is the only way to heal.” I call bullshit. If you’ve been abused, you don’t have to forgive them. What they did was abhorrent. You can heal without forgiveness. I promise you.
If they’re a parent or a family member, you don’t have to keep them in your life.
Once you have the means to cut them off (or distance yourself), you have every right to. What they did was awful, no matter who they are. You don’t owe them anything and you deserve to be safe.
Once you have the means to cut them off (or distance yourself), you have every right to. What they did was awful, no matter who they are. You don’t owe them anything and you deserve to be safe.
Your inner child is hurting, but you can now protect and comfort them.
No one was there to support your young self, but you still have an inner child, and I’m sure they’re in a lot of pain. You now have the ability to comfort them. Let them feel everything they need to feel. https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1353598631518097408
No one was there to support your young self, but you still have an inner child, and I’m sure they’re in a lot of pain. You now have the ability to comfort them. Let them feel everything they need to feel.
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1353598631518097408
It might feel like no one could ever understand what you’ve been through, but you’re not alone.
I feel like that too, like there’s no way I could begin to explain the abuse and how bad it hurt. If there’s anything unites us, it’s that we’ve both survived the indescribable.
I feel like that too, like there’s no way I could begin to explain the abuse and how bad it hurt. If there’s anything unites us, it’s that we’ve both survived the indescribable.
Coping is subjective.
If all you did today was get out of bed, you were victorious. When you’re constantly battling a brain on high alert, it’s hard to do much else. Ask for extensions. Let the room stay messy if you don’t have the energy to clean. Take it one day at a time.
If all you did today was get out of bed, you were victorious. When you’re constantly battling a brain on high alert, it’s hard to do much else. Ask for extensions. Let the room stay messy if you don’t have the energy to clean. Take it one day at a time.
You deserve good relationships.
On the days you can’t love yourself, on the days you’re afraid to let anyone get close, that’s when you need social support the most. Safe and healthy relationships are so healing. Learning to trust again is powerful and necessary.
On the days you can’t love yourself, on the days you’re afraid to let anyone get close, that’s when you need social support the most. Safe and healthy relationships are so healing. Learning to trust again is powerful and necessary.
You deserve love.
Being abused can leave us feeling lonely, and the shame and guilt that comes with being abused can make us think we deserve to be lonely. But you don’t. You needed love in those times of pain and you still need love. Try to practice accepting it from others.
Being abused can leave us feeling lonely, and the shame and guilt that comes with being abused can make us think we deserve to be lonely. But you don’t. You needed love in those times of pain and you still need love. Try to practice accepting it from others.
You are allowed to have needs.
You were taught that you weren’t allowed to have needs, and if you had any, they were “irrational” or “burdensome.” That couldn’t be more wrong. Your needs are important. They should be honored and met, and it’s okay to tell others your needs.
You were taught that you weren’t allowed to have needs, and if you had any, they were “irrational” or “burdensome.” That couldn’t be more wrong. Your needs are important. They should be honored and met, and it’s okay to tell others your needs.
It won’t always hurt this bad.
I know that may sound ridiculous right now, but it’s true. You’ve suffered for so long that it’s hard to imagine a life that isn’t constant agony, but it already exists... out in the future. You just have to get there. And I know you can.
I know that may sound ridiculous right now, but it’s true. You’ve suffered for so long that it’s hard to imagine a life that isn’t constant agony, but it already exists... out in the future. You just have to get there. And I know you can.
You deserve help.
There are so many people out in the world, me included, who want you to find healing. There are online communities, good therapists, medications, friends to meet, and more. You deserve to make your pain more manageable. Try some stuff out. You got this.
There are so many people out in the world, me included, who want you to find healing. There are online communities, good therapists, medications, friends to meet, and more. You deserve to make your pain more manageable. Try some stuff out. You got this.
I’m gonna link some resources for you in the thread now, and I hope they’re helpful. You deserve them. You deserve peace. You deserve love and respect and safety. You always did. I’m so sorry that someone made you believe otherwise. They were wrong about everything. I promise.
Here’s a gentle reminder that even I need sometimes. There are more affirmations in the thread below this tweet as well as a message to your inner child. 
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1346136160876302337
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1346136160876302337
Here’s my master thread on trauma responses and what trauma actually is. You’ll be surprised at all the things that are actually responses to trauma. There are coping skills, PSTD diagnostic information, and other great links at the end. 
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1336083047477895168
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1336083047477895168
Here’s a thread on escaping and recognizing abuse. I have a feeling it’ll be very validating. It has a ton of resources at the end, so if you don’t need the content itself, you can scroll to the bottom and find a bunch of helpful stuff, including my trauma responses thread. 
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1353878125155934213
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1353878125155934213
This is a collection of symptoms that are common as a result of being triggered. It’s helpful to understand how our body responds to PTSD-related stress because then we can help ourselves. There are also some coping skills linked at the end of it. 
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1356134703120658434
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1356134703120658434
This is a short thread on trauma nightmares. Again, recognizing our symptoms is the first step to managing them. I hope this is validating and enlightening. As victims of abuse, we’re taught to minimize our experiences and reactions. Let’s start combatting that together. 
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1337482177483845634
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1337482177483845634
Here’s one last link to where I talk about DARVO. As soon as I heard this term, it pretty much solidified that my experiences of abuse were real and valid. I hope it can provide you the same comfort and clarity. 
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1300302444367351808
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1300302444367351808
Finally, here is a link to some crisis lines. If this thread brought up some hard feelings, you’re allowed to reach out for help. You aren’t bothering anyone. These are messaging and text ONLY. You also don’t have to be in immediate danger to connect with them, so go for it. 
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1353878893611114498
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1353878893611114498
If you’d like to help support some of the educational outreach I do on here, this is my medical fundraiser for getting a Psychiatric and Mobility Service Dog. This will help tremendously with the impact of my abuse and make my life a little more livable. Please RT if you can. 
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1356130351039606786
https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1356130351039606786
Some folks have also requested this in the past! So I’m gonna link it here as well. https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1356364469903962117
Thank you so much for reading through this thread. I’m really proud of you. I know some days feel impossible, but you are a fucking fighter. What happened to you was not fair, and I’m so sorry. This world can be so cruel, but I hope you can find healing, even on the hard days. 
