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She should press charges https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-55889002
When I was 18-19 I had a boyfriend who was a big fan of Manson. I was too naive to run at the first red flags, but he was mentally disturbed, a heavy drug user, & (surprise) turned violent. He did the things that Manson apparently did to his girlfriends - weird coincidence...
After ending up in hospital one night, with facial injuries, the police (major crime detectives) arrested him (my ex), locked him up, and pressed charges. Going forward & pressing charges in court is one thing I've always been proud of. Gave me a sense of agency
I rarely, rarely ever talk about this episode of my life. It was over 15 years ago & it's still extremely hard. I can't write about it, for example. But hopefully one day in the future I can.
But if you're in a similar situation, feel free to DM me. Anytime. My DMs are open.
But if you're in a similar situation, feel free to DM me. Anytime. My DMs are open.
For the record my ex received a conviction of assault occasioning actual bodily harm, and received a prison sentence for 2 years, which was then suspended. That conviction would be lifted now, as they only lasts for seven years. It's still worth pressing charges though.
Abusers end up getting convictions for what can be proved in court. Assault is easiest because the police can take photographs of injuries.
But the stalking that happens is waaayyy more emotionally damaging long-term. Much harder to prove, though.
But the stalking that happens is waaayyy more emotionally damaging long-term. Much harder to prove, though.
The damage it does to one's self esteem & confidence takes YEARS to undo. What I did was internalise the shame. How could I have let this happen to me? How could I have been so foolish? How could I be so stupid to be in such a relationship? etc
I know many victims don't want to press charges & sometimes it may not even be safe to do so. But I think taking that step helped me regain some sense of control & get some confidence back that I had lost.
Final reflection--If something bad happens to you, you don't have to let it define you. It is not *you*
You are much more than a traumatic incident, or bad relationship, or a crime. And you don't have to identify as a victim if you don't want to. I never did.
You are much more than a traumatic incident, or bad relationship, or a crime. And you don't have to identify as a victim if you don't want to. I never did.
