Ugh, #nolatwitter, I am in Krewe du Vieux and I'd like to talk about last night. There is no safe Mardi Gras. KDV must a lesson for the Krewe of House Floats ppl in how they advertise and what they should brace for. On paper, the plan was similar to the house float plan. 1/

In the fall, the KDV mother krewe assumed parades would be canceled long before anyone else was admitting it to themselves, and the only idea that got legs and seemed possible to do safely was a series of art installations. 2/

I am not in the mother krewe so I'm not in these convos and I'm sure a lot of debate went on. The end result of their meetings and talking to the city was a weekend of spread out art installations that were totally optional to the sub krewes. 3/

Our marching orders were a little confusing but generally they wanted us to try to leave it up at least all weekend. My krewe, Krewe of the Mystic Inane, designed something our members could work on separately if they wanted, and no one would have to man day of. 4/

But then in their communications with the public, the mother krewe sort of (?) suggested a time for it - what would've been parade time. It turned into an event rather than an exhibit. Couple that w/ the Mayor and tourism goons advertising, and OF COURSE it was crowded! 5/

So it's like, the effort to make it a casual weekend long thing didn't work or happen. And you're not going to make an art installation without inviting anyone! And the vision of it being an exhibit ppl visit at their leisure seemed good! 6/

Then you got @mayorcantrell and the tourism industry inviting ppl here for a modified "safe" Mardi Gras. Ppl who don't even understand MG in a normal year. Ppl who are crawling out of their skin for a vacation. And they'll be a self-selected crowd of giant reckless assholes. 7/

The activities established are only safe if people engage with them safely. We cannot trust tourists to engage safely. They treat our city like a dumpster for their worst behaviors under normal circumstances. As our FQ service industry folk will tell you, it's on steroids now. 8/

We cannot trust our locals to engage safely either! Not because they're a bunch of assholes (some are), but because we are being tempted into an old habit after almost a year of hell. Last night was hard for me emotionally bc MG is my last good memory of the Before Times. 9/

Even neurotic ppl like me will start to break down after a drink or two. And after a year of being so strict while the institutions and our leaders and our brethren have sabotaged our efforts at every turn, we're understandably going to crack a little. 10/

Krewe of House Floats should be in better shape being 2 weeks long, but I worry about the big parade days. How many tourists will we get bc of the hotels and airlines trying to get ppl here to see something non structured and tucked away in our neighborhoods? 11/

Last night is an example of something that looked fine on paper, but only if you could trust ppl. We cannot trust people. The very spirit of Mardi Gras is dangerous right now. It's tough. I'll be making sure to view house floats at an off time. 12/

I think if you have a house float that is impressive and you think might get attention, you'll need to do crowd control. Maybe mark the sidewalk and street for social distancing, don't give throws to ppl being unsafe, make ppl move along, and get an airhorn to enforce? Dunno. 13/

My warning, I guess, is that if your plan is to hold court on your porch while friends stop by and look at your house, you might have to be prepared for worse - and for your own guard coming down when you feel the MG spirit. I hope it's better for you. 14/

I'm sad. KDV is my favorite day all year. My krewe is full of my best friends. But that taste of Mardi Gras last night brought the passage of time and the impossibility of our choices into sharp focus and I don't think we are strong enough to handle that. END