I was assigned a patient 10 days back. An old lady with dementia. I had to assist her with taking bath, getting dressed, eating breakfast and having medication. Her regular carer is on leave. On the first day, after helping her to get dressed I asked her to comb her hair. 1/n

She stared at me. I repeated myself. She then picked up a remote control and tried to comb her hair. I stopped her and instructed her to use the comb. She picked up the comb, looked in the mirror and did as I told. This went on for 9 days. She would pick up different things 2/n

To comb her hair. Today I watched over her, as I do. She looked at me with the eagerness of a child, picked up the comb and asked me "I have got it right, yes?" I smiled and gave her a thumbs up. You might be wondering why didn't she use or choose the comb on the first day. 3/n

You see, the old lady's regular carer used to comb her hair for her. Over time, due to dementia, she forgot the use of things. With practice she now remembers that a comb is used for combing the hair. Things were done for her. Her own mind never had to remember. My point? 4/n

Sometimes kindness is more cruel than cruelty itself. While the previous carer was being too kind and caring, she unknowingly took away the independence and cognitive skills of the patient, rendering her even more helpless. So, want to help? Then teach, don't do.