White Americans are socialized to excuse our racist (and sexist and anti-LGBTQ) family and friends.

This often manifests as a downright neurotic aversion to open conflict. If I had a dime for every time my mom snapped at me to “Drop it!” when I considered an issue unresolved... https://twitter.com/thecheekyginger/status/1355888129161502730

I got scolded so many times by my mom and aunt—generally by women, which is interesting in itself—for “dragging out arguments.” Usually arguments with my sister who is now very much on Team White Woman - Patriarchy Police

All of this went along with frequently being told not to complain and admonished to “be positive.”

Maybe this is why I’ve become a professional pessimist