One of my bosses at my last job has a sarcastic, 'cold' demeanor at times, and a voice that can sometimes make her sound constantly angry or aggressive. But she is actually a very sweet, compassionate and intelligent person I am now happy to call a friend.

And she was considered by many of my co-workers (usually guys) at the job to be an Ice Queen bitchy tyrant. Maybe it's my overcharged sense of empathy, but I could tell there was a vulnerability beneath the armor, and so I tried hard to treat her with respect and consideration.

Which led to us becoming friends outside of work, and even after we both left the job, continue to be in contact, sharing funny memes and chatting about philosophy/politics/etc. I consider her a friend that challenges my preconceptions and biases, and has made me better for it.

Even now, I sometimes struggle to read tone from her, and it has resulted in our fair share of miscommunications. But we are luckily both committed to improving our skills in that area and we try to show each other grace if there is misunderstandings. Which I think is healthy.

I fully admit that for most of my life, I've been conditioned to feel threatened by any assertive woman, to take it personally if women criticize me. It's something I'm really trying to grow out of, and my friendship with my old boss has really been educational and tested me.

I hope this little story can show men on here that usually that Nasty Mean Bitch Boss you have is sometimes just your own projection and misplaced fragility of ego, and that women are allowed to be assertive and take-no-bullshit too without being vilified for it.