Buddy of mine got called into the principal’s office at work because his FB profile photo shows him wearing a 3% hat. In honor of his impending unemployment, here’s the rules for surviving corporate life.

A thread.

1. Never bring up politics unless you’re sure the person agrees with you.

2. If you work with Progressive types, realize that there’s no part of life they don’t consider political, so see rule 1 and just STFU in general.

3. Being good at your job will not protect you. This is truer the larger the organization is.

4. The people you work with probably don’t like you very much. Not because you’re not likeable, but because corporate life makes people bored, and therefore petty.

5. No one cares if you served your country. Veterans, read that and read it again. You probably think that people respect your sacrifices for your country enough to give you the benefit of the doubt. They don’t.

6. You are in a prison full of snitches.. Your goal is to make enough money to get outta the prison. You aren’t going to save the other prisoners. They don’t wanna be saved.

7. See rule 1 again. It’s the most important rule. Not just at work, either.