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THREAD: Any time cancel culture gets the pleasure of ruining someone, I get very sad. Nothing to do with how much someone may or may not deserve it..but I can see the “thrill of the hunt,” the way collectively attacking someone makes everyone on the “winning” side somehow feel ->
stronger or more valid about themselves. How in their decision to hurt someone, they get praise for it and feel like something bigger or stronger when...they’re not.
I’m all for justice, but I hope that someday, people question the reason why they do what they do. A little ->
I’m all for justice, but I hope that someday, people question the reason why they do what they do. A little ->
self reflection can do wonders for you as a person and if your jimmies get tight over the idea of collectively ruining someone’s life, you may need to reflect a bit. If you’re not truly doing it to make the world a better place, you have no right to pretend you are.
A couple years ago, I had the displeasure of publicly calling out one of my closest friends for some stuff. It was clearly in the interest of keeping everyone safe as well as my friend’s improvement. I had a group of supporters there with me. How did I feel? Strong? Brave? ->
No, I felt horrible for what I had to do. Guilty for betraying my friend’s trust. Cruel for having to watch the pain it caused. Scared for how certain people would twist it to their own disgusting agendas to “cancel” someone. Angry when they tried. Exhausted for having to go to->
war on my friend’s behalf for months to stave off the attackers. Uncertainty that I did the right thing. Fear that it would never get better. And finally, exhaustion when it was all over.
Did I come out of it a “hero?” Am I “strong?” Lol not at all. I caused scars in ->
Did I come out of it a “hero?” Am I “strong?” Lol not at all. I caused scars in ->
someone I love as family. I lost friends within the group of “supporters” because some of them were more interested in cancelling than actually helping. Most of the rest of the “supporters” have drifted much farther away from me because for a long time, I seemed more on my ->
friend’s “side” than theirs, thinking I was “leaking private info” or some bull. As if my resolve to see this through to the end when they washed their hands of the issue was some sort of betrayal, even though we were originally all in it together from the start. ->
I’m happy to report that my efforts weren’t in vain. Everything went as hoped. Everyone is safe, lives have improved, lessons have been learned.
But those scars are still there and they still hurt. I still lost some friends and others still aren’t as close to me as they were. ->
But those scars are still there and they still hurt. I still lost some friends and others still aren’t as close to me as they were. ->
Those are the feelings that come with come with potentially “cancelling” someone. It may feel like a collective project or a “victory,” but after its all done, you’re left with disgust and guilt and shame and burned bridges and a scar on someone’s back in the shape of your knife.
So just think about your motives before you join the collective and jump onto the next “horrible monster,” okay? Make sure you’re doing this for them and others, not for yourself. Try to find an alternate solution. I did, and that’s the reason I can live with what I did. ->
Because from beginning to end, I had the best intentions and I fought tooth and nail to prove it. I get to see my friend striving and happy and successful and think “hey, I helped with that.” That’s my only saving grace after all is said and done. ->
If you see your big bad cancel victim lose all of their opportunities, give up their passions, potentially harm themselves, and end up in some dead end gig delivering your pizza in a couple of years...I’m not sure you’ll feel the same way.
Stand up for justice...but be just too.
Stand up for justice...but be just too.
