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I hate to be the elderly trans lady shouting at kids to get off my lawn, but I do often feel like the history gets lost. People forget how it was, how THEY were, more than a few years ago.
Lemme tell you how it was for me. https://twitter.com/ribnose/status/1355761335770832898
Lemme tell you how it was for me. https://twitter.com/ribnose/status/1355761335770832898
I came out as trans almost 16 years ago. That's the vast majority of my adult life.
I sit here and watch as people whoa re well known online come out as trans and are bombarded with warmth, support and congratulations.
I'm happy for them. That is NOT what I got back in 2005.
I sit here and watch as people whoa re well known online come out as trans and are bombarded with warmth, support and congratulations.
I'm happy for them. That is NOT what I got back in 2005.
When I came out, a handful of friends were like “well, awesome, I could use another female friend!” But that was not the consensus reaction.
Even people who were “supportive” mostly were like “really? Huh. That’s peculiar. But I guess I’m for whatever makes you happy.”
Even people who were “supportive” mostly were like “really? Huh. That’s peculiar. But I guess I’m for whatever makes you happy.”
And those were the good ones.
To other people, including a vocal segment of my “fans,” it was either disgusting, hilarious, or some combination of the two.
To other people, including a vocal segment of my “fans,” it was either disgusting, hilarious, or some combination of the two.
I had a falling out with the Ozy and Millie forum that existed at the time because the moderators sided with people who insisted they could refer to me as “he” and make fun of me if they damn well wanted to. I was constantly coming across claims that I had gone completely nuts.
People made vulgar jokes about my anatomy. A lot. Sometimes accompanied by artwork.
Sites like PoE and Encyclopedia Dramatica turned trying to get me to kill myself “for the lulz” into a recreational activity.
Sites like PoE and Encyclopedia Dramatica turned trying to get me to kill myself “for the lulz” into a recreational activity.
And I didn't have a lot of support.
People who now fancy themselves total trans allies stood by and watched all of that happen to me. Held me at arm's length because they didn't want any of the abuse I was getting to spill over onto them.
People who now fancy themselves total trans allies stood by and watched all of that happen to me. Held me at arm's length because they didn't want any of the abuse I was getting to spill over onto them.
Acted like, look, I don't want to get into this, I'm not taking sides between you and the person trying to get you to kill yourself.
I basically withdrew from the internet for like two years because I couldn’t deal with it all.
I basically withdrew from the internet for like two years because I couldn’t deal with it all.
Now, I'm very aware that a lot of the people who abused me, or who kept me at arm's length and refused to speak up, would never do that now. Many of them are loudly and vocally pro-trans, now.
People who think of themselves as tolerant, today, are aware that that means supporting trans people.
People DID NOT used to understand that. At all. It really really sucked.
People DID NOT used to understand that. At all. It really really sucked.
People who acted like I had made up being trans to get attention, or because I had gone completely out of my mind, now applaud when someone they know comes out.
And I'm glad they've come around. But part of me is always going to be bitter. Where were they when I was drowning?
And I'm glad they've come around. But part of me is always going to be bitter. Where were they when I was drowning?
Some of the people who mocked me the loudest later transitioned, or otherwise came out as genderqueer in some form. A couple have even thanked me for showing them it was possible. I smiled and said “you’re welcome.”
I think I deserve a Nobel Peace Prize for not punching them.
I think I deserve a Nobel Peace Prize for not punching them.
