Thread by @lanzhanstan, smthn i have been thinking about all day is wwx going out [...]

smthn i have been thinking about all day is wwx going out drinking on saturday night and spontaneously hooking up w a man who rails him absolutely stupidt but he forgot to get his number :( then he goes to work on monday morning only to find out mr nine inches is his new boss

wei ying is at huaisang’s desk telling him about how his one night stand may have ruined him for other men when the elevator dings and lan zhan walks out. wei ying freezes. huaisang looks at lan zhan (now also frozen) then at wei ying. then he slowly turns away in his desk chair

later that day when wei ying is scrolling through job boards online, huaisang is like “a) respect and b) this is a good thing! now you guys can [makes obscene gesture with his fingers]” and wei ying is like THAT IS A HR VIOLATION and huaisang is like “our HR guy is wen ning lmao”

wen ning is like “i can look the other way as long as ur both happy wei ying

” and wei ying is like. typing his letter of resignation

ANYWAY lan zhan has just been... in his private office all morning. staying Away from everyone and their cubicles and their Stares

everyone’s talking about him because well Look at him, but also, he’s barely said two words to anyone which is odd to most ppl but downright UNBEARABLE for wei ying bc why is he ignoring him?? ok he’s ignoring Everyone BUT LIKE ???

eventually he can’t stand the silence anymore

so he knocks on lan zhan’s office door and then goes inside like “hey! it’s me. idk if u recognised me from the front, heh. forget i said that. so anyway we’re cool right”

lan zhan stares at him for a long time then nods a fraction of an inch

“great! GREAT!” wei ying says

they’re both Mature Adults and wei ying is SUPER willing to move on from what was Clearly just a one time thing and just be Professional Co-Workers– unless???? haha yeah it WOULD be inappropriate to continue fooling around, just kidding, lan zhan!!!!
welcome to the office!!!!!!

the situation hasn’t been fixed it’s more unbearable now actually so obviously wei ying has to compensate by becoming absolutely insufferable

as the days go by lan zhan continues to keep his distance and wei ying continues to engage in one-sided conversation at every opportunity

in the elevator. by the photocopier. one time at the urinals. this man has fucked him against a DOOR he doesn’t get to ignore wei ying now

he never actually brings up the Sex but he makes sure to send lan zhan very strong I Know What Your Dick Looks Like Don’t Forget That vibes

he continues to ignore wei ying

wei ying reaches his peak of shamelessness when he sees that lan zhan has tiny cartoon bunnies on his usb drive and pesters him about this until lan zhan puts him down for 3 hours of overtime

defeated, wei ying asks wen ning how many HR reports lan zhan has made against him. surprisingly, the answer is zero

wen ning, despite this, advises wei ying that he should probably ease up on the workplace harassment anyway though,,, if lan zhan doesn’t return his feelings,,

wei ying completely glosses over the first part and is like “feelings? what FEELINGS?? there aren’t FEELINGS that’s insane” then he walks away very quickly

when saturday swings around again, wei ying decides to re-visit the same bar as last weekend in hopes of finding someone to help him get over whatever cursed magic lan zhan did on his dick that made him like. at least 14% more annoying

so he dresses up and goes out and lingers next to the bar, scanning the room for Potential while also waiting for someone to buy him an overpriced drink. you know, multitasking

then he feels a Presence behind him and turns around and it’s– lan zhan. of fucking course

in his state of genuine shock, wei ying swears to lan zhan that he didn’t come here looking for him or anything, ok he’s not That weird. then he’s like wait i don’t have to explain myself to you, you don’t Own this bar-

lan zhan silently watches him rant passionately

eventually, wei ying demands that lan zhan says SOMETHING and lan zhan is like, “do you need a drink”

and wei ying wants to be mad! he does!! but he’s just. aroused

and distressed

lan zhan’s voice is so Nice

maybe it’s a Good thing that he rations it

so wei ying says Yes (derogatory) and lan zhan turns to the bar and orders a cocktail for him and a glass of ice water for himself

wei ying, a hard liquor man, is like “this isn’t strong enough :/“

lan zhan tells him that if he gets too drunk, he won’t take him home

wei ying is like “O H. OH. IS THAT HOW IT IS. YOU THINK YOU CAN BE A DICK TO ME ALL WEEK LONG THEN JUST BUY ME A DRINK ON SATURDAY AND ILL DO ANYTHINGN YOU WANT”

“wei ying”

“AM I JUST A HO L E TO Y-”

lan zhan puts the cocktail straw in wei ying’s mouth

while wei ying’s brain buffers, lan zhan says he didn’t want wei ying to feel obliged to give him anything just because he holds power over him now

wei ying’s mind is just instantly filled w “what are you gonna do for this payraise

” fantasies but he tries hard to concentrate

before wei ying can reassure him, lan zhan goes on to tell him that he’s come to realise wei ying’s blatant desperation isn’t out of any sense of obligation so much as it is that he just needs it That Bad

wei ying, called out, silently sucks up Piña Colada thru his twisty straw

anyway, lan zhan takes him home! and wei ying is reunited w an old friend he had feared he would never see again

several times

all weekend long

and then once again on monday morning

they go into work together on monday morning and when the elevator doors open wei ying is wearing a shit-eating grin and lan zhan is perfectly expressionless. everyone’s silent until lan zhan is safely in his office, then huaisang says “whore”

the end

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