Hello.
I just re-read Marvel's "House of M" for the first time in 15 years as people are excited about its possible ties to WandaVision
I need to rant at someone about it
That someone is you
I just re-read Marvel's "House of M" for the first time in 15 years as people are excited about its possible ties to WandaVision
I need to rant at someone about it
That someone is you
Marvel's "House of M" arc is preceded by "Avengers Disassembled" in which Scarlet Witch's breakdown over the loss of her children has led her to create a false reality so unstable that it kills people
Well, it kills Hawkeye so - no loss there
Well, it kills Hawkeye so - no loss there
She's taken away by Professor X who looks to "help" her by yelling at her anytime she tries to create a pocket reality where her children and husband exist and her life is happy
Here he is literally yelling her babies out of existence
10/10 therapeutic vibes Professor
Here he is literally yelling her babies out of existence
10/10 therapeutic vibes Professor
Anyway, after the yelling doesn't work on the woman experiencing severe trauma, he rolls up to the Avengers like "Listen, guys, I tried the yelling - I'm thinking our next moves here is to kill her?"
"Did you try therapy Charles?"
"You mean Yellapy? The therapy where you yell at people?"
"...I don't think that's a real thing."
"You mean Yellapy? The therapy where you yell at people?"
"...I don't think that's a real thing."
The Avengers + X-Men decide to speak with Scarlet Witch, but it's made very clear in a conversation between her brother Quicksilver and her father Magneto that they're going to end up killing her
Also, big shout out to Dad of the Year 2005: Magneto
Also, big shout out to Dad of the Year 2005: Magneto
Quicksilver intervenes and comes up with a plan - if she can create a reality that satisfies everyone's deepest desires then maybe they can be left alone by the powers at large
Let me be clear - this is no Monkey's Paw scenario. Girl goes all out. Everyone gets their big dream, no strings attached.
Loved ones who died are back! Romances are rekindled! Mutants are accepted and no longer fear for their safety or well-being!
Loved ones who died are back! Romances are rekindled! Mutants are accepted and no longer fear for their safety or well-being!
Well, Charles is missing in this new reality but honestly....
In this new world - for "Reasons
" - Wolverine remembers everything (the Reason
is """his brain healed his memories""") and is disturbed to find himself in a new reality where everything RULES I guess...
He begins to work on unlocking other people's memories as well


He begins to work on unlocking other people's memories as well
After enough people have remembered they gather around for a second time to decide if they should try and kill Scarlet Witch to break this reality or like - idk, just chill - and decide that YES, the moral thing to do is to return to the "real" world
Again, they've been transferred to a world where it has been established that their deepest wishes have been granted, where mutants are no longer in danger (which was the original point of the X-Men?!?!??!) and they're like
Nobody gives a particularly compelling reason beyond "but Magneto probably did this and Magneto is Bad
!" Here's Jessica Drew being the only one to make any sense

Cyclops is driven to vomiting in revulsion when he recalls his real life. Peter Parker is driven to a breakdown. People briefly discuss the morality of what Scarlet Witch has done (spoiler: It's Bad and she should be killed) but making people remember is Good
Now don't come for me being like "Uhhh but now the HUMANS are being oppressed by Magneto in this new world!" Cause when they go back to the "Real world" they're just going to be fighting the same people except now mutants are under constant threat
They don't even KNOW if they can go back, they're just big mad at Scarlet Witch, but mostly Magneto because they think he's done this for personal gain
If you had the choice between you and your loved ones being happy, safe, and secure while you fight against the bullshit powers at be vs being destitute, lonely, and traumatized while fighting against the same people - which are you picking?
And the argument that it isn't "Real" makes no sense - she made a NEW reality! YOU CAN'T SPELL REALITY WITHOUT REAL!
....anyway, we're off to make some bad decisions
....anyway, we're off to make some bad decisions
...let's start off by confronting Scarlet Witch who just wants to be left the fuck ALONE (please leave this poor woman alone)
Hawkeye - now alive (his greatest wish I guess) is losing it over the fact that he died previously and tries to kill Scarlet Witch before she can explain
Hawkeye - now alive (his greatest wish I guess) is losing it over the fact that he died previously and tries to kill Scarlet Witch before she can explain
Clint: Well, I heard the yelling didn't work, so I opened my own practice where we shoot people - if it doesn't kill them it's guaranteed to snap them out of their PTSD!
Time is a flat circle
Anywho, as it becomes clear to Scarlet Witch that her friends suck and her father is a deadbeat - she wishes for her dream, a reality with "No More Mutants"
Which honestly, same Wanda
Which honestly, same Wanda
I'm assuming this is what people like when they say they enjoy House of M and not a bunch of shitty friends collectively deciding to kill a woman whose trauma can't be healed by a bald man yelling at her or her friends dismantling her attempts at healing and reconciliation
I'm glad this bitch got up and demanded no more mutants. They were garbage to her. I hope she added some clauses to it
"No More Mutants - also, only people who are nice to me and speak at a normal volume"
"No More Mutants - also, only people who are nice to me and speak at a normal volume"
So what have we leaned:
- Trauma is complex. Trying to "snap" someone out of it is harmful and ineffective
- People who want to kill you are Bad Friends
- Don't light yourself on fire to keep others warm
- Hawkeye suuuucks
- Trauma is complex. Trying to "snap" someone out of it is harmful and ineffective
- People who want to kill you are Bad Friends

- Don't light yourself on fire to keep others warm
- Hawkeye suuuucks
...More like "House of Unsupportie Friends Who I Created a Whole Fucking Perfect Reality for and They Still Didn't Appreciate or Value Me"
I stg if anyone comes in here trying to defend anyone but Wanda's decision making in this arc i will create a new reality where you have a butt for a head and a face for a butt