It's a Saturday evening in lockdown and we're all talking about what we did at 22, so here, have a thread of historic pubs in Oxford, ranked by how often I, personally, have been off my face in them.

(There will be one exception to this ordering, and it will be the Lamb and Flag for reasons that will become obvious).

First up, because it is next door to Oriel, is the Bear Inn. Usually claimed to be the oldest pub in Oxford, with records dating to 1242, and that is true but a couple of caveats. First, the original building burned down in the 15th century, and second...

The original building was up the road a few hundred feet. Current building was the 17th century ostler's house, converted into a separate tavern sometime around 1690, and then the Bear Inn moved there in 1801. Incidentally, the Bear Inn is no longer an inn. Details.

Anyways, the most remarkable feature is the approximately five thousand ties covering every possible surface. There's several different versions of how the tradition started and who knows what the truth is, but yes, one of them belonged to Bill Clinton. I have seen it.

Moving right along and down a couple streets, my quiz local of nearly five years, the Royal Blenheim. Only a Victorian pub and recently ruined by 'refurbishment', but excellent for people watching and crying over essays in the corner. Bonus: no tourists, like ever.

Just past Christ Church is the creatively named Head of the River. The rowing decor is even more creative, especially since rowers can't really afford to get tanked there frequently. Glorious beer garden, though, especially if you like watching tourists fail at punting.

You knew it was coming, so go on, the Eagle and Child. Also known as the Bird and the Baby, plus about a dozen other nicknames, my personal favourite being the Fowl and the Foetus. Has a ring to it. Unimposing 16th-ish build....

But probably most famous for its association with the Inklings. To be FAIR, they drank regularly in near about every pub in Oxford, but this 'Rabbit Room' was their most regular haunt up until it was (badly) refurbished in the early 60's.

It's *extremely* popular for tourists for the above reason, but if you time it well (pro tip, go at lunch), you can snag one of these sweet little snugs in the front. Excellent reading nooks. Pevsner and I have had many a date there.

And since we're on the Famous Pubs, the Turf Tavern. Very famous for being in every film/tv show/book about Oxford ever (mostly Morse), also very difficult to find by merit of being accessible only by two equally sketchy alleyways.

The Turf, which dates to at least the 14th century, was originally called the Spotted Cow, which frankly I think they should bring back. Along with fictional characters, everyone famous with ties to Oxford has either gotten drunk or high there.

Also popular with tourists. Possibly one of my fave things to do is sit in the window bench to the right of the front bar, watch tourists walk in, and immediately smack their heads on the approximately five foot high ceiling. I am a terrible person, yes, but it's funny.

I forgot to say, the Turf is located off Hell's Passage, please drop your best Hell's Passage stories here.

MOVING ON to the extremely haunted and criminally overlooked White Horse. Specifically the Broad Street White Horse, not the Headington Hill White Horse. Not only is the whole building a few feet lower than its neighbours, the pub itself is down some steps inside the door.

The ghost is purportedly quite friendly, but when they were doing reno work, they found a weird broom boarded up in the wall. As soon as they uncovered it, Stuff Started Happening, and nobody wanted to touch the broom, so they just... walled it back up. Which is a mood.

Again with everybody and their brother drank here, and also it pops up in Morse. Apparently it's also in Discovery of Witches but I admit I haven't watched that yet, so I'll have to confirm later.

The Kings Arms! Owned by and directly next to Wadham, also my hubbie's local. They claim to be the oldest in Oxford, with zero evidence. They also claim to have the highest IQ per square metre in Oxford, also with zero evidence.

Directly across from the New Bodleian, which was built in the 18th century and has a new name now but I forget what, excellent place to get tipsy after a day of getting eye strain from medieval manuscripts. In my humble opinion, of course.

The back bar, which is very cozy and has a nice fireplace, was the last drinking establishment in Oxford to admit women (ca 1970's), so gals, go get smashed there. For revenge or whatever.

just a moment, need to refresh my pint

OKAY I'm BACK with the Chequers! one of the two High Street alleyway pubs, the Chequers was a 16th century moneylender's house that became a tavern. In the 17th century it was also a bit of a museum for 'curious' animals and stuff looted by the Empire.

It's now decorated with all of the college crests, and I cannot recall what the debate was about but I did once use this fact to win an argument with one of my undergrad tutors. Why was the tutorial being held in a pub? because.

The other High alleyway pub is the Wheatsheaf, aka central Ox's only dive and also a great small music venue. Purportedly the meeting place for Oxford's BDSM community and events, you can thank my ex-girlfriend and a now famous male Political Commentator for that tidbit.

Across from there is the Mitre, owned by Lincoln. Downstairs; 17th century coaching inn. Upstairs, undergrad accommodation. Possibly the easiest booze-to-bed situation in all of Oxford. Can't find interior photos, which is a shame because the ceilings are lovely.

THE TROUT. best dog spotting in Oxford! Also not technically in Oxford, I think, but it counts. No idea how old it is, but it's at the edge of port meadow and a glorious place to get some food after a long summer's day drinking. Also, dogs.

THATCHED ROOF THATCHED ROOF THATCHED ROOF. This is the Perch, across the river from port meadow and, also, excellent dogs. It's very close to the priory ruins if you're into that sort of thing, which we all know I am, so.

Old Tom! It's a little 17th century ramshackle pub right across from Christ Church and somehow completely overlooked by tourists? I honestly do not know how. Really good food, really cozy, really good people watching if you get the window seat.

St Aldate's! I have been here upwards of a dozen times and, I regret to say, I recall literally nothing of it. It is a blur. I think there is an upstairs room. Maybe a quiz. I associate it with ice cream. No idea.

Rose and Crown! Another of our young pubs, I think it's 1860's, and so far in summertown it's basically outside Oxford (insert St Hugh's joke here), but has a glorious beer garden and beautiful ceilings. Also the best mulled cider I've ever had in Oxford.

Now, I know there are about a dozen more pubs I could include, but it's time for supper so I'm gonna take us to one last one- the Lamb and Flag. Right across from the Bird and Baby, it's where the Inklings moved to after that awful reno.

Jude the Obscure was (purportedly) written here. My Latin translation group met here, with variable results. Pops up in Morse and the rest. Owned by St John's, and officially, operated as a non-profit (or something)- because all profits go towards DPhil funding.

At least, until tomorrow. After four centuries, the Lamb and Flag has been killed by the plague. Which, honestly, is heartbreaking. I dunno if it can be saved. It might be too late. But what we can all do- now- is write our MPs, and ask them to save the hospitality sector.

That's the point of this thread, really. All of these memories- or the lack thereof, as the case may be- I want the next generation to have these, too. Every 22 yr old passing through uni deserves to have these moments, and we need to government to ACT. Email your MP.

(yes I absolutely typed the wrong date for the Weston, sorry, I cannot multitask lmao)(I still love the Blenheim but the new decor is terrible)