So. I have a story.

When I was a 3rd yr resident at Emory in 2011, my next to last rotation before graduating was at CHOA Scottish Rite.

To put it bluntly: my attending hated me. She absolutely hated me and didn’t try to hide her contempt.

She criticized everything I did.

One especially frustrating day after rounds, I logged on Facebook and posted saying, “I’m so over this hospital. My attending hates me. But I don’t even care because I’ve already signed a contract for my dream job and in a month I’ll be free! Goodbye to this terrible rotation!”

After lunch - literally less than an HOUR after posting - my attending walks up to me, arms folded, face calm as death & says, “I saw your Facebook post. Get out of my hospital. You’re done.”

I was dumbfounded. My Facebook page was private, so only my friends could see my posts.

To make a long story short, she tried to ruin my career completely.

She wouldn’t let me return to the hospital so I couldn’t complete that rotation.

She contacted my residency program director who then threatened to hold my graduation until I found a new hospitalist rotation.

She then contacted my *future* employer - who happened to be one of her previous residents - and sent them the screenshot of my Facebook post.

She told them they were making a mistake hiring me, and advised them to cancel my employment contract.

I thought my life was over.

I was hurt because I knew a “FB friend”/co-resident had sent her the post, because only they would know what rotation I was on at that moment, and be able to send a screenshot to her within an hour of it being posted.

I was angry at myself for making such an error in judgment.

Ultimately I had to publicly apologize to the entire hospitalist group at CHOA-SR, do a lunchtime presentation to my residency class on Social Media Professionalism, and renegotiate my employment contract.

All the pain I experienced was squarely my fault - no two ways about it.

But it was a mistake, made by a young, exhausted resident who was angry and frustrated at the constant condescension and denigration.

Does that excuse my inappropriate and unprofessional behavior? No.

But should it have potentially been the end of my career? Absolutely not.

The power dynamic that attendings have over medical students, residents and fellows it’s very real, and it’s honestly terrifying to medical trainees, because it truly can be career ending.

We should all strive to be the best version of ourselves, but we are works in progress.

We’re going to make missteps along the way, but those bumps & bruises are part of the process, and will help develop strength of character.

So let’s extend some grace to each other in the interim, yeah?

P.S. If I ever find out who sent that screenshot, it’s STILL on. ON SIGHT.