The GameStop movie is clearly coming.

Here are the actors we will call upon:

1/ Keith Gill (AKA the hero AKA u/DeepF*ckingValue AKA @TheRoaringKitty) played by Sean Penn
2/ @chamath (AKA SPAC-man AKA I will fund 100 r/WallStreetBets traders AKA I'm YOLO-ing $GME in support of yall) played by Aziz Ansari
3/ Vlad Tenev (AKA Robinhood CEO) played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt
4/ Gabe Plotkin (AKA Melvin Capital's CEO) played by BJ Novak
5/ Steve Cohen (AKA Mets owner AKA billionaire savior of Melvin) played by Kelly AuCoin (AKA Billion's Dollar Bill Stearn)
6/ AOC (AKA the outraged lawmaker) played by...AOC (because she's mastered media)
7/ Ted Cruz played by ... no one, because literally no one f***ing cares what Ted Cruz has to say about GameStop
8/ Scott Wapner (AKA the CNBC talking head shilling for hedge funds) played by that cop that was complaining about glass in Die Hard
9/ Andrew Left (AKA head of Citron Research) played by Steve Carrell...because we need him in this movie
10/ @matt_levine (AKA Bloomberg columnist AKA our greatest chronicler of financial shenanigans) played by Succession / The Big Short's Jeremy Strong...because we need him in this movie
11/ @elonmusk (AKA the world's biggest haters of short sellers AKA GameStonks) played by Ryan Gosling...because we also need him in this movie
12/ More to come for sure. Smash that FOLLOW for updates.
13/ Jaime Rogozinski (AKA founder of R/WallStreetBets) played by Christian Bale because we REALLY need him in this movie.
14/ Dr. Michael Burry should be played (also) by Christian Bale, who can just pull the ratty t-shirts he wore for The Big Short from his closet for the exact same role
15/ Ryan Cohen (AKA billionaire Chewy founder AKA big backer of $GME and newly-minted board member) to be played by Zac Efron πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ
16/ GameStop's CEO George Sherman to be played by...I don't even know because no one know has ever seen a photo of him or heard him speak.
17/ Aiight, we could make Woody Harrelson play George Sherman
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