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So....
We have invested deeply in the idea that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
But, for MANY people what happens after trauma is suppression which comes out later in life and often in dangerous ways
Trauma reverberates
We have invested deeply in the idea that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
But, for MANY people what happens after trauma is suppression which comes out later in life and often in dangerous ways
Trauma reverberates
We need to really consider that our aspirational statements (be tough, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, don't ever share weakness) sometimes turn into kinds of emotional prisons
When people cannot work through or share their trauma, it doesn't go away it festers
When people cannot work through or share their trauma, it doesn't go away it festers
I remember being told hundreds if not thousands of times not to show weakness, not to let the world know that something hurt me, to be tough.....
I learned later that swallowing my feelings was the worst thing I could have possibly done and I suspect I was not alone
I learned later that swallowing my feelings was the worst thing I could have possibly done and I suspect I was not alone
As @WesternBruce put it, "that violence has [often} been present...since early childhood"
My guess is that our obsession with STRENGTH often works against us and against our better interests.
When you tell a kid to "suck it up" you may make them externally tougher, but you could also be making them internally weaker and that often plays out in unfortunate ways
When you tell a kid to "suck it up" you may make them externally tougher, but you could also be making them internally weaker and that often plays out in unfortunate ways
I had a coach once who really preached the tough mantra, I remember once he refused to go to the doctor for like two months despite him clearly being sick......did he get better?
Nope he actually ended up coughing so hard he cracked a rib and had to go to the hospital.
Nope he actually ended up coughing so hard he cracked a rib and had to go to the hospital.
I suspect, right now, there are a lot of people in this country with emotionally cracked ribs from trying to stay tough, not seek out help, and not share or heal their trauma
My personal feeling is that our problem is not being in a society that is too "weak"....quite the opposite....I believe we live in a society where people have been raised to never address their emotional problems and this reverberates in angry ways across our country
I suspect we have gotten the world we wanted....and this is the result...what we have been seeing across our country is the result...not because we are "weak" but because we have taught people to NEVER show weakness and that asking for help is weakness.
