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Just read a very interesting thread about teachers and the culture around being in at all costs. I hope COVID has changed this. I’ve told this story before but think it’s important for early teachers to hear from some of us who’ve done this.
In April 2012 I went into school even though I knew something was really wrong. I was feeling absolutely awful, I’d been up all night with Crohn’s symptoms but I still went to school. I didn’t want to phone in sick, for several reasons.
1. It was a full day, that meant remotely setting a lot of cover, and in my mind, putting school in the position to find a lot of cover. 2. I had Y10 last lesson who had a GCSE module coming up. They couldn’t miss me for one day (I thought).
3. I’d been sick earlier in the year with an arthritis flare, and I’d gone in every day even though by the end of the day I couldn’t walk. Used to sneak out of school at 6pm so no-one could see me dragging myself to my car crying. When someone senior found out the message was
That I had to “sort it out”. So I didn’t think compassion was coming my way in this instance. So I went in. Needed bits of my lessons covered by a lovely staff member who could see how bad it is was.
Got home, acted like everything was fine. Woke up on my bedroom floor and called my friend to tell them I’d woken up on the floor having passed out (I don’t remember this). Drove myself to the hospital which is smart after passing out.
When I got in they immediately admitted me despite my protests, kept me in for 4 days and was released on the promise to immediately see my own gastroenterologist. Signed off work for 6 weeks (wasn’t well received). I don’t think not going to work would have prevented this.
But I would have given in earlier. I would have got myself to hospital hours earlier, before I was losing a lot of blood, before I needed to go on the highest dose of steroids possible. But I didn’t because I was convinced being in school was the most important thing there was.
I think I’ve got better with this although I’m sure there’s still room for improvement. We can’t be martyrs. We need to accept our own limitations. I really hope this last year has taught us all this as well.
