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hello i am slightly intoxicated so it is time for me to write a very petty thread about next level burger's latest nonsense in order to bring myself joy on a pandemic friday night.
for those unfamiliar, next level burger is a "100% plant-based burger joint" founded by Matthew de Gruyter, who previously worked in oil & gas private equity(!) and switched to a plant-based diet after borrowing Alicia Silverstoneâs The Kind Diet from his wife/NLB co-founder.
i interviewed Matt in 2015, when he was opening nlb's second location. 3 things stuck with me:
1. nlb was VERY clearly built to scale easily.
2. the aesthetic was imo VERY derivative of veggie grill and native foods, but matt claimed it was not.
3. is where it gets fun...
1. nlb was VERY clearly built to scale easily.
2. the aesthetic was imo VERY derivative of veggie grill and native foods, but matt claimed it was not.
3. is where it gets fun...
3. nib relies largely on "meats" and "cheese" from brands like gardein, beyond meat, chao, and field roast.
that is very normal and not a problem!
the issue was that matt was VERY cagey about what brands he used / the fact that those ingredients weren't housemade.
that is very normal and not a problem!
the issue was that matt was VERY cagey about what brands he used / the fact that those ingredients weren't housemade.
for example! i asked him what kind of cheese he was using. he said something like "one is coconut-based and one is made with pea protein."
i said "you mean chao and daiya?"
he said, "oh, you've heard of them?"
(i used to be a vegan food writer btw. that's wild huh.)
i said "you mean chao and daiya?"
he said, "oh, you've heard of them?"
(i used to be a vegan food writer btw. that's wild huh.)
the thing that annoys me about nlb is not their food (which is fine) or their branding or whatever.
it's just big ex-oil-tycoon/colonizer energy. matt claims nlb is the first plant-based burger joint which is just... a wild claim! idk! it's ok that other burgers exist.
it's just big ex-oil-tycoon/colonizer energy. matt claims nlb is the first plant-based burger joint which is just... a wild claim! idk! it's ok that other burgers exist.
i bring this all up now because @brokenbabyghost alerted me to the fact that nib has created its own spinoff chain called, incredible, Next Level Clucker.
immediately, i was like "lol that's gonna be like garden chicken strips for $10."
reader, i was not wrong.
immediately, i was like "lol that's gonna be like garden chicken strips for $10."
reader, i was not wrong.
as it turns out, that particular dish is already available on the next level burger menu. here's what very clearly looks like gardein chicken strips with fries for $9.95.
the moment when i decided to write a thread was when i learned that they were selling 3 gardein (allegedly) chicken strips a la carte for $4.95, or 2 gardein (allegedly) fish fillets for $5.95 (plus tip).
next level cluckers does not sell the a la carte gardein strips afaik. they seem to sell very similar products to the next level burger menu, except everything has "cluck" added to the name. behold.
how did they manage to make their vegan milkshakes sound LESS vegetarian than normal milkshakes? "cluckshakes" sounds like some sort of chicken & egg protein shake nightmare for bros.
anyway, i'm not going anywhere with this because it's not a real problem; i just needed to tell you all this information because it was haunting me.
i'll leave you with this iconic quote from @beebjr: "what is the problem where the solution is next level cluckers."
i'll leave you with this iconic quote from @beebjr: "what is the problem where the solution is next level cluckers."
ok i will ACTUALLY leave you with the knowledge that i ate fries and gardein chicken strips for dinner. i made them myself in the air fryer and it did not cost $9.95 plus tip. bye!
(if you are not familiar with the gardein brand: you can get roughly 10 of these bad boys for less than the 3-strip a la carte price.)
(note the fact that they're described as "seven-grain" crispy tenders! that's a giveaway that nlb uses this brand.)
(note the fact that they're described as "seven-grain" crispy tenders! that's a giveaway that nlb uses this brand.)
ppps @brokenbabyghost reminded me that they are claiming that this is a NEW chicken "joint" but it also seems to be located inside of existing nlb locations so someone please do some investigative journalism about that.
tfw you finish a draft of monday's @gendereveal interview at 12:30am and let yourself read all the replies to your Secret Gardein Thread as a treat.
don't miss these crucial replies from a former employee!
"they also did not want a tip jar" yike.
"they also did not want a tip jar" yike.
lest we be sued by a oil-and-gas-private-equity-level-rich yt man, let me just say one more time, like a heavy blanket over this entire thread:
allegedly.
allegedly.
anyway support local businesses not owned by sketchy oil tycoons or whatever if you can!
portland vegan burger options include:
- DC vegetarian
- black water bar
- off the griddle
- homegrown smoker
- black seed burger cult
plus mockingbird for vegan chicken sandos!
portland vegan burger options include:
- DC vegetarian
- black water bar
- off the griddle
- homegrown smoker
- black seed burger cult
plus mockingbird for vegan chicken sandos!
