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The year is 1997. You are having a birthday party, and your mom makes you invite everyone in the class, including that rich asshole Melvin.
Melvin asks to borrow your Mario Kart 64 cartridge. You don't want to lend it, but Mom tells you to "be nice".
[1/8]
Melvin asks to borrow your Mario Kart 64 cartridge. You don't want to lend it, but Mom tells you to "be nice".
[1/8]
Months pass, and Melvin hasn't returned your Mario Kart. You're getting teased at school because you keep losing on Rainbow Road.
You give up, and head to GameStop to replace your game. The hype has died down, so they have five copies for $10 each.
[2/8]
You give up, and head to GameStop to replace your game. The hype has died down, so they have five copies for $10 each.
[2/8]
Wait - are those your initials on the back??? They are. It's your original cartridge.
Fucking Melvin.
You're going to get to the bottom of this. Fortunately, the girl who works at the counter is a friend of yours.
[3/8]
Fucking Melvin.
You're going to get to the bottom of this. Fortunately, the girl who works at the counter is a friend of yours.
[3/8]
She tells you Melvin immediately sold your game to GameStop. Because Mario Kart had just been released, and it was in demand, he got $30 for it.
Melvin figured he'd wait for the hype to die down, then snag a used copy for cheap to "return" to you.
Melvin figured he'd wait for the hype to die down, then snag a used copy for cheap to "return" to you.
You're mad now. You hatch a plan.
You buy ALL FIVE used cartridges. It costs you $50, which is some bullshit because one of them was already yours.
Then you tattle to Mom that Melvin hasn't returned your game.
[4/8]
You buy ALL FIVE used cartridges. It costs you $50, which is some bullshit because one of them was already yours.
Then you tattle to Mom that Melvin hasn't returned your game.
[4/8]
Mom calls Melvin's mom, who says, "Young man, you have until Friday to return that nice boy's game."
Melvin smugly saunters into GameStop... but what's this? No copies of Mario Kart are available!
Of course they aren't. You bought them yesterday.
[5/8]
Melvin smugly saunters into GameStop... but what's this? No copies of Mario Kart are available!
Of course they aren't. You bought them yesterday.
[5/8]
Melvin returns to GameStop every day, increasingly panicked at his inability to buy a copy.
No dice. You've spread the word around school. Everyone hates Melvin. Nobody will sell to him, and nobody is bringing their old game to GameStop this week.
[6/8]
No dice. You've spread the word around school. Everyone hates Melvin. Nobody will sell to him, and nobody is bringing their old game to GameStop this week.
[6/8]
By Friday, Melvin has only one option: to drop $50 on a brand new copy and give that to you to replace the "borrowed" game.
(Remember, this is 1997, online shopping is not a thing.)
You sell four of your five used games AND the new one from Melvin to GameStop.
[7/8]
(Remember, this is 1997, online shopping is not a thing.)
You sell four of your five used games AND the new one from Melvin to GameStop.
[7/8]
You had to spend $50, but you now have $70 cash and your original copy of Mario Kart.
Melvin initially made $30, but then was forced to spend $50. And he has no copies of Mario Kart.
You finally win on Rainbow Road.
Life is good.
[8/8]
Melvin initially made $30, but then was forced to spend $50. And he has no copies of Mario Kart.
You finally win on Rainbow Road.
Life is good.
[8/8]
... so anyways, that's my millennial-ese translation of what happened with #wallstreetbets, Melvin Capital, and $GME this week. 
Epilogue: This all could have been avoided if Mom didn't force you to lend your game to that dickhead in the first place.
coughSECcough
coughSECcough
(Also in this scenario GameStop isn't marking up games they buy, whatever, it's not a perfect metaphor.)
