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how to make your language more inclusive… a thread:
many of us grew up being taught that we should refer to people as he/him or she/her when we talk about them. these rules have become part of our everyday vernacular, and it can be challenging when we want to adjust our language to be more inclusive
good news! using gender-neutral pronouns and gender-neutral language isn’t that hard! if you don’t have a ton of practice with using them, that’s ok! we’re going to give you some tips on how to make your language more inclusive for the people around you
1. if you don’t know someone’s gender, use “they.”
for example: if your friend mentions that her cousin had a baby, you can ask, “what did they name them?” that way, the gender of your friend’s cousin and the baby aren’t assumed
for example: if your friend mentions that her cousin had a baby, you can ask, “what did they name them?” that way, the gender of your friend’s cousin and the baby aren’t assumed
2. switch to plurals.
instead of using “his or her” when talking about a group of people, try to use they, them, or their(s) instead. for example: every student must put his or her cell phone away before taking the test
instead of using “his or her” when talking about a group of people, try to use they, them, or their(s) instead. for example: every student must put his or her cell phone away before taking the test
3. refer to someone’s significant other as their partner.
if someone is dating a person whose gender you don’t know, you can refer to this person as a “partner.” for example: “did you meet matilda’s partner at the holiday party?”
if someone is dating a person whose gender you don’t know, you can refer to this person as a “partner.” for example: “did you meet matilda’s partner at the holiday party?”
4. use their name.
if someone you know uses the pronouns they/them and you don’t know how to use those pronouns correctly just yet, you can repeat their name: “i was talking to sam yesterday. yes! sam is doing really well.”
if someone you know uses the pronouns they/them and you don’t know how to use those pronouns correctly just yet, you can repeat their name: “i was talking to sam yesterday. yes! sam is doing really well.”
5. correct yourself.
if someone uses they/them pronouns, you’re probs gonna slip up and use their old and gendered pronouns. that’s ok! it takes getting used to. what matters most is that you say, “whoops, sorry!” correct yourself, and then keep moving on with the conversation
if someone uses they/them pronouns, you’re probs gonna slip up and use their old and gendered pronouns. that’s ok! it takes getting used to. what matters most is that you say, “whoops, sorry!” correct yourself, and then keep moving on with the conversation
many trans people don’t like when you make a big deal over accidentally messing up their pronouns. just apologize, make the correction, and keep going. that way, you aren’t focusing on their old gender and making a scene about it
you don’t have to change your whole vocab overnight. small changes add up and make a big difference! if you’re ever unsure about which pronouns to use when talking to or about someone, just ask them if they feel comfortable sharing them with you. easy, right? you got this!
