Sometimes you'll feel intensely jealous of your writing friends when they hit benchmarks you're not at

Sometimes they'll feel intensely jealous of you

But if they're really your friends, they're never competition, and will use success to lift you up when the opportunity arises https://twitter.com/inferno4dante/status/1355023237806247936

I've been the recipient of countless moments of generosity and goodwill from other writers, and strive whenever possible to follow the example they set

Treating this industry like a contest will result in burned bridges, heartache, and isolation

You need your people here

There will come a time when it feels like everything in publishing is conspiring to grind you down *except* the writers in close creative friendships you've cultivated, and they will be the ones who carry you through

I know, because I've been there

You need to find a way to compartmentalize the jealousy and lingering bitterness the capitalist, survival-of-the-fittest system we live in ingrains in us

You *will* feel these things but your people are far more important. Learn to rejoice with them and privately let all that go

The best way I know to cope with feelings of jealousy, that have nothing to do with their subject and everything to do with you?

Choose the behavior of a generous person

Find someone who's traveling along the path a few steps behind you, and offer them the resources you have

I am *profoundly* jealous of other people sometimes, even those I love, because I want to badly to succeed

That's not on them, that's on me

So I have a safe person I can text this gif to whenever I'm being consumed by that kind of thing

Then I take that bad energy, and I funnel it into something good

I take on a new mentee, or offer querying advice, or swap material with someone new

And nearly every time, I end up making a new and treasured friend by choosing to behave like a better person

The thing is, you don't have to feel good to be good

But you can decide to do the better thing if that's the sort of person you want to become

Maybe you'll always struggle with jealousy--I doubt mine is going away anytime soon--but choosing supportive action *will* become habit

And I think that's as close to a really good person any of us can hope to come

By choosing good even when we don't feel it

Anyway, I'm right here with you and wish for smooth roads, bright skies, and bestselling novels for all of you, my loves