The MD guide to the 40 greatest seaside memories of our youth. In order.

Number 40.

Amusement arcade bingo. A sliding plastic tile always missing, stuck or burnt with the end of a cig in losing anger.
Number 39

The absolute wonder of the monorail.
Number 38

Crazy Golf
Number 37

The while-u-wait printed t-shirt
Number 36

The beautifully poetic Butlins slogan
Number 35

The disturbing world of socks with sandals
Number 34

The submarine arcade game. Strange rash on the forehead guaranteed.
Number 33

Jack Straws in the caravan. Absolute carnage. "THE LADDER MOVED!!!!!"
Number 32

The beautiful yet somewhat underwhelming Helter Skelter
Number 31

A relaxing day at the beach
Number 30

The strange and wonderful world of the joke shop
Number 29

The gorgeous wooden win a KitKat machine. We actually won one. And one of the fingers was solid chocolate. Still regarded as an full-on miracle in our family to this day.
Number 28

The striptease pen. Valuable playground currency.
Number 27

Digging a massive hole on the beach with your Alsatian looking on in admiration
Number 26

Sunbathing
Number 25

The luxury caravan
Number 24

Vintage cars on rails
Number 23

Learning to swim at Butlins, Ayr.

An outdoor pool. In Ayr. Almost froze to death, with the bonus of a guaranteed verruca.
Number 22

Wearing a knotted hankie on your head
Number 21

Health food
Number 20

The saucy postcard
Number 19

The serious Butlins snooker hall. First illicit taste of Double Diamond. Aged 9.
Number 18

The Kentucky Derby Game. Heart stopping levels of excitement. A lad peed himself next to us when he won. Nobody batted an eyelid.
Number 17

The utterly terrifying fortune telling machine:

"You will win the jackpot on the slot machine bandit in this arcade tonight. It won't pay out."
Number 16

The glory of pinball
Number 15

Shuggy boats on the beach. H&S nightmare.
Number 14

The glorious Butlins badges
Number 13

Butlins, Skegness 1974. Waited all year to go and it burnt to the f*cking ground the day after we got there.
Number 12

The Funhouse. Ambulance on permanent standby. Bigger boys smoking in the dark corners.
Number 11

The kiss me quick hat.
Number 10

The frankly traumatic Punch & Judy show.
Number 9

Bumper cars. Listening to Jungle Rock, driving with one hand thinking you were king of the world until some mad bastard hits you head-on and you lose your front teeth on the steering wheel
Number 8

A vicious bout of food poisoning
Number 7

Constant deckchair and windbreak trauma
Number 6

Playing games in the boarding house while it hammered it down for 5 days straight.
Number 5

The epic Grand National
Number 4

The Penny Falls.
Number 3

Fish and Chips. Never tasted as good as at the seaside.
Number 2

The photo viewer
**Number 1**

The drinking lucky bird.

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