OK RATING ORDERS OF BIRDS: a thread.

Gonna go in the order laid out in the Kuhl et al. cladogram. Pictures will be provided. I won't be getting a better excuse to just stare at birds all day
Palaeognathae. Also known as: flightless birds. Includes: ostriches, emus, cassowaries, kiwis

Without a doubt one of the most blessed bird clades. Call me old school, but bird design peaked here: they are extremely fluffy and they could kill you, can't improve on that.

10/10
2. Galliformes. Also known as fowl. Includes: chickens, turkeys, pheasants, quails

Good shit! GOOD shit! These great personalities. Whether they live in the tropics or the Arctic, they are all rotund and make silly noises. You could not ask for better.

10/10
3. Anseriformes. Also known as waterfowl. Includes: Ducks, swans, geese

Friends! But tbh the aggressive ones are the good ones. Also love the fuzzy brown/grey babies. They make fun rubber animal noises (honks and quacks) and I am fond of their sitting/swimming posture.

8/10
4. Phoenicopteriformes. aka flamingos, the only living members of the order 😔🕯

They are the TRUE party bird. Look at these flocks! They live in brackish water & get those excellent fresh palettes from their shrimp diet.

Btw have you seen a flamingo baby? because look

8/10
5. Podicipediformes, aka grebes (also the only living members)

Basically very aesthetic swans that sing better, and also do hella mating dances on water. Some (like the greater crested grebe) have fancy crests.

Have an obligatory photo of a chick taking the parent cruise

9/10
6. Gruiformes. aka cranes and rails. Includes: cranes, moorhens, coots

Extremely good!! Who doesn't love freshwater bird with large foot. Cranes are culturally appreciated for Aesthetic, rails and friends are the round, compact siblings.

I have a gift! it's more babies.

10/10
7. Charadriiformes. aka waders and friends. Includes: plovers, gulls, auks

That Range...it has leggy shorebirds like plovers, waddly shorebirds like puffins, and ocean scream bird (gulls).

Did you know a gull pooped on me once? I'm bumping the score down because of that

7/10
(interrupting the thread just to show you this ringed plover. it has 🥺 energy)
8. Opisthocomiformes, aka hoatzins. This order only has one species, the hoatzin

What a badass bird!! Its ancestors branched off from other bird lines 64 million years ago. Chicks have claws on their wings that they use to grip tree branches!? have another babey

10/10
9. Caprimulgiformes. Includes: Swifts, nightjars, hummingbirds

Another clade with great range! (It confused scientists for centuries.) They all have a distinctive pointy look & most don't build nests. Smallest bord in the world is in this order, bumping it up by 1 point

9/10
10. Otidiformes, aka bustards. Includes: bustards, floricans, korhaans.

I need to have a word with whoever named them. Lorge ground-dwellers, some even longer than a child is tall (1.2m, kori bustards are the largest flying species!) A solid bird, just needs better PR.

7/10
11. Musophagiformes, aka turacos.

How often do you hear about turacos? They're only found in Africa & look like the fancy child of a pigeon and a parrot

When I was a kid, most books grouped them with cuckoos (Cuculiformes), it's only recently that literature has caught up

7/10
12. Cuculiformes, aka cuckoos. Includes: pigeons, koels, malkohas

EVIL! Many of them push other birds' eggs out of their nests & get fed/raised by the parents of the babies THAT THEY MURDERED. Also I grew up with constant koel noises (see 3rd pic. that is the face of evil)

5/10
13. Columbiformes, aka pigeons and doves.

What a palate cleanser! That style, that range! Excellent shapes, good noises! Racers, military medalists, endorsed by Jesus

Also if you have not seen the regional variants, I've made a special collage for you.

10/10 with emphasis!!
14. Mesitornithiformes, aka mesites.

Rare bird! I'll be real with you, this is the first order so far that I've never heard of. All 3 species live on Madagascar & are endangered. They dig for insects, and apparently bird of other species follow to catch the ones they miss.

7/10
whoops, thread continues here! https://twitter.com/fuchsiamoonrise/status/1355144938741067778
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