Read on Twitter
imo sex is funny because it's messy and ridiculous, kink and fetish even more so, and it's something that can be so much fun when treated light-heartedly
and adding points of silly bits of messiness to monsterfucking REALLY has so much comedic potential
and adding points of silly bits of messiness to monsterfucking REALLY has so much comedic potential
guy calling in sick to work because he just had sex with his merman boyfriend for the first time this morning and he had no idea he was going to lay so many eggs and he can KIND of move but his shirts don't fit and he has 0 bladder capacity right now
woman who was fully prepared (and excited!) for her werewolf boyfriend's knot but the towels she put down were in NO WAY sufficient to cover for the aftermath
guy with the most painful hangover bc his vampire boyfriend drank from him during sex last night and it was extremely hot but the venom is wearing off rn and the low is REALLY putting the high in perspective
Same boyfriend awkwardly explains to his doctor a year later that he suspects why anaemia has suddenly become an issue and agrees to take supplements and to limit the Kinky biting sex
woman who comes away from kissing with her spider girlfriend at a party and comes away absolutely sticky with silk
mothman who keeps making noises too high pitched for their lover to actually hear but every time they fuck all the nieghbourhood dogs start howling
man who has sex with his dryad for the first time and they get really into it
it's only afterward he realise the whole room is covered with ivy, bursting with flowers, and that there are roses hanging down from the light fixture
he is NOT getting his deposit back
it's only afterward he realise the whole room is covered with ivy, bursting with flowers, and that there are roses hanging down from the light fixture
he is NOT getting his deposit back
wait wait wait here's my best one yet
werewolf with erectile issues who takes viagra and after twelve hours his knot STILL hasn't gone down and his boyfriend is like "babe i know its embarrassing but we need to call a doctor"
werewolf with erectile issues who takes viagra and after twelve hours his knot STILL hasn't gone down and his boyfriend is like "babe i know its embarrassing but we need to call a doctor"
man who has sex with a fertility god several times and was assured that he can't get pregnant but apparently what CAN happen is that he can spontaneously start lactating
between apologies the god is trying not to laugh uproariously
between apologies the god is trying not to laugh uproariously
pixie who experimentally sneaks up to try a human's vibrator which is bigger than they are and comes so hard they pass out
snakewoman fucking her girlfriend and she's so into it and she's having a great time and in fact she's SO INTO IT...
she leaves a seal when she pulls out and her girlfriend is like "what is this" and she's like,,,,,, oh my god,,,, i will die of the embarrassment
she leaves a seal when she pulls out and her girlfriend is like "what is this" and she's like,,,,,, oh my god,,,, i will die of the embarrassment
vampire who plays into his boyfriend's kink but he barely feels it even when his boyfriend spanks his arse as hard as he can and the vampire THREE TIMES accidentally breaks the restraints his boyfriend has him in
WAIT WAIT
vampire into painplay and denial whose girlfriend wears pure silver piercings through her nipples and her clit so that He Can't Touch
vampire into painplay and denial whose girlfriend wears pure silver piercings through her nipples and her clit so that He Can't Touch
glad everyone is enjoying these!
if you would like an erotica short with a merman and a trans man, I have one here:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1042880
And more books/stories in my pinned!
if you would like to leave a tip, my tip jar is here:
https://ko-fi.com/johannesevans
if you would like an erotica short with a merman and a trans man, I have one here:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1042880
And more books/stories in my pinned!
if you would like to leave a tip, my tip jar is here:
https://ko-fi.com/johannesevans
okay but merman who has ink sacs and when he comes too hard--
him and his egg stuffed boyfriend COVERED in sticky black ink and the boyfriend is like. I want to be angry at you but the idea that you have ink sacs bc there's something big enough to predate on you terrifies me
him and his egg stuffed boyfriend COVERED in sticky black ink and the boyfriend is like. I want to be angry at you but the idea that you have ink sacs bc there's something big enough to predate on you terrifies me
WAIT werewolf boyfriend who hasn't told his boyfriend he's a werewolf yet and it's the day before the full moon and he keeps going, oh, maybe, maybe we shouldn't, oh I have another appointment, I don't have time--
and the boyfriend is COMPLETELY caught out by the knot
and the boyfriend is COMPLETELY caught out by the knot
mermaid who's all tentacles who's worried about having sex with her girlfriend bc she doesn't want to hurt her with Too Much 
vs gf who's like GiVE ME THE TENTACLES PLEASE AND THANK YOU
vs gf who's like GiVE ME THE TENTACLES PLEASE AND THANK YOU
magical sex worker who works with a fae who can turn invisible to do some really fun shots for porn and their OnlyF*ns
telepath who comes from a species that doesn't really have orgasms or an equivalent but going down on their partner they FEEL IT and they VERY MUCH would like to feel more
overstim ahoy
overstim ahoy
