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When I was in school I used to tell people I will have an arranged marriage even if I hate the guy because keeping my parents happy matters the most to me. I used to despise kids who run away from home. Now in my 20's I'm surprised any Indian girl stays back home....
... And I hate arranged marriages as equally as I hate any religion. I hate marriages in general - I'd go just for the free food so fuck your Zoom invitations, they're pointless to me.
There are very few moments I enjoy in life. Even when I'm studying and writing tests I boil in anger at how much my parents view us as property. Dancing is one of the few things that keep me sane. And that too cherished against bigoted Christians who call it Hindu dances
I used to be a very family oriented person. My life revolved around what do my parents want. And any own decision/ mistake came with so much guilt. Despite living next to a bar for two years I never went there because I promised Amma I won't drink.
If my parents ever start Twitter I want them to read this thread to know how disappointed I am in them. For their 180° turns on giving children freedom to micromanaging our lives. For being indifferent that I was dying a bit each day since I turned 16.
For blaming me for my sexual harrassment. Not standing up for me amongst their friends and family even when someone wished domestic abuse upon me. For not accepting my interests and friends. Basically for birthing me when you were not ready to fight for me
And now I trust strangers I've never met before more than the people who raised me for 20 years. Giving me more than enough material things while not even doing the bare minimum in other departments is the worst parenting technique
After I told them I'm agnostic they've just been extra nice - always asking me what objects do I need. What food do I want. Conversation is something they can't comprehend and in their head I'm still a 3 year old - A plate of fryums is always the solution to my problems
Sorry Amma and Appa. I've grown. My problems can rarely be solved by things that can be bought with money and each day you sink further by refusing to even talk to me unless I'm being instructed
I don't think I'll ever have a normal relationship with my parents again. There's so much hate and love simultaneously..
Rant over
Rant over
