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Throughout my parents' marriage, hindi ko nawitness ever na nagcelebrate ng anniversaries or kahit mag PDA. They were always casual to the point na napapaisip ako kung may love ba sa relationship nila. They fight and bicker pero never sa point na nagkakasakitan sila sa mga
sinasabi nila sa each other. Sometimes pag malaki yung misunderstanding, my dad would sleep in the living room. (I remember when I was 9 ata or 10, my parents had a huge fight. It lasted for days and my mom never cooked us breakfast. So my dad would take me to jollibee every
morning. Dun kami kakain. Dun ko first time natutunan na yung poached egg pala, ilalagay mo yung salt kapag sinerve na. Hindi during niluluto pa. Same goes with potato fries.) Sometimes naiinggit ako sa mga friends ko na may parents
na nagcecelebrate ng mundane occasions and milestones sa relationship nila. I never talked so much nor opened up about my family to anyone except to some of my closest friends. I felt kasi na parang naiiba yung sakin. Napaka-casual and complex irationalize.
May times na pag nagigising ako early sa morning like mga 6 AM, naririnig ko yung parents ko na nagcocoffee together. Every morning ganun talaga sila. Since maliit pa ako. It was their routine. They never start their day na di nila ginagawa yun. And they talk about just anything.
Back then di ko binigyan ng meaning yun kasi what's the big deal diba? Drinking coffee every morning is basic. Kahapon, my life shifted so much that i lost footing. Habang naghihingalo yung tatay ko, habang iniintubate at sinusubukang irevive, nakita ko yung fear at pagguho ng
mundo ng nanay ko. Pero walang hysteria. In silence, nakatayo lang siya dun w tears streaming sa mukha niya. Kanina, ginawan ko siya ng kape. Tapos she drank it na nakaharap sa coffin ng tatay ko. Like the usual mornings they have, drinking coffee sitting in front of each other.
The pain my dad left us is excruciating. Pero somehow, even sa pag-alis niya, may tinuro pa rin siya sakin. Siguro hindi sa lahat ng bagay at panahon na yung love ay nae-express in such a way na common at alam natin. Sometimes, even in silence, even in just by sitting together
drinking coffee every morning, sobrang sapat na na way yun to express how much you care for each other. When my dad flatlined and even when they nurses were already removing his life support, my mom never let go of his hand. In silence and even the last moments they had together
she held his hand na parang her entire life depended on it. Weird man ang love language ng parents ko, pero this time there is no more doubt in me. This time sigurado talaga ako na may love. And I think yung love na yun, as weird as it may to other people who sees it from
the outside, is beautiful as it is.
