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I think the reason people presume I'm a man, is because they can't fathom someone doing something without some kind of direct personal gain. That's not to say I don't gain anything from talking about men's issues, I've gained a small following.
It makes me feel good to raise awareness for issues I care about, and I care about men's issues for the sake of all the lovely guys in my life. Guys that simply do not have the same resources as I would in a situation where one is victimised.
I don't think that is perceived as incentive enough, though. I must do this because I gain something directly from it, like sex, or a relationship, or attention from lots of different men. Basically, the accusations revert to misogyny. I must be doing it because I'm a slut. Lol.
Or, I must be secretly a man, because advocating for men's rights would give me - as a "man" - more rights directly. That's always a pretty telling one. I thought giving people equal rights doesn't need to entail taking away the rights of others, right? Right.
So, why should it matter if more attention is brought to misandry and male victims? Well, because the people who have a problem with this are misandrist in some way, of course. They've simply bought into the lie that it can't possibly exist, so anything they do is fine and dandy.
The very problematic concept of "toxic masculinity" helps with keeping one's head buried. After having conversations with people over the past day or so, it's become apparent that what people call "toxic masculinity" is just simple misandry.
The idea that males are "bad, uncontrollable rapists who cannot respect women" is painted as an issue of toxic masculinity. Men are taught to be that way, to aim for that kind of "masculinity" because under patriarchy, that's how things are. Patriarchy hurts men, too, after all.
This mindset just shoves everything back onto men, though. It doesn't seek to look at the original claim, that males are "bad," because if people actually analysed those kinds of statements for even a moment, they'd realise that yes, this is hatred directed at males specifically.
Why have I switched from using the word "men" to "males?" Simple. TERFs. Let's shift focus onto something I both simultaneously enjoyed, and quite literally ripped my hair out to - as per the life of a chronic trichotillomaniac.
That is, @ContraPoints' new video, which you can watch here if you haven't already:
She was so, so close to eking out the word misandry that I yelled at my monitor daring her to do it. "Please, let this mark the start of change and true social equality on the left," but chances of her being cancelled *again* are high, so I can hardly blame her for avoiding it.
At one point in the video, and I'll try to accurately rearticulate this as best as I can without rewatching the video again, Natalie made the point that trans men (yes, trans men specifically) are the victim of TERF misogyny on the basis that TERFs categorise them as women.
They categorise them as women, as they believe trans men to be purely confused and manipulated. TERFs rely on the gender stereotype that females are hapless victims of society. That they have no agency, and so on, because they are female, and that's how TERFs perceive females.
Ergo, that's how TERFs perceive trans men, along side cis women. Hence some TERFs calling trans men "sisters" and the like. Just generally being all misogynistic, really. *Sigh*
So if trans men can be the target of TERF misogyny, as far as Natalie is concerned, what is the root cause of the bathroom issue? Natalie brings up Forstater's words, in which Forstater talks about how males are not safe for women to be around, because males are predatory.
Yeah, TERFs really are something else, huh?
That aside for a moment; if "females are hapless victims" is misogyny, due to the negative stereotyping of a whole demographic of people...
...then what the heck is "males are predatory abusers?"
That's right, we've come full circle. Apparently this isn't irrational hate based around negative stereotyping of a whole demographic, but "toxic masculinity."
More like manipulative bullshit wordplay, if you ask me.
That's right, we've come full circle. Apparently this isn't irrational hate based around negative stereotyping of a whole demographic, but "toxic masculinity."
More like manipulative bullshit wordplay, if you ask me.
This allows TERFs to "justify" their hate of trans women. I'm talking specifically about the Berns and Forstaters of the world, here, and it works. The distrust and hatred of males is so great, that trans women are being thrown under the bus because of happenstance of biology.
Take that overly hateful, negative stereotype of males (or amabs) away, and what petty justification would TERFs have left? They'd have nothing, because society would have to recognise that some men - cis or trans - do abuse, and that some women - cis or trans - do abuse.
Which would lead to true equality for everyone over time. To get there, we have to stop blaming the patriarchy for every damn thing. We have to stop blaming men. We have to realise that misandry is half the issue of sexism as a whole, and *needs* be treated as such and discussed.
We need to do this for everyone. Wherever misandry is, misogyny follows. Wherever misogyny is, misandry follows. We cannot have one without the other, so we need to tackle both. Any other framing of sexism as an issue is meaningless lip service to the idea of equality.
