But consider Katsuki making a mf fool of himself by accidentally insulting the hot as fuck tattooed guy he’s trying to pick up at a dingy underground show and then later getting his ass split in two by him.

Hold on, hold on... just imagine with me

The redhead’s fuckin deathhawk is going to send Katsuki straight to his goddamn knees. Doesn’t help that there’s nothing more erotic than floors sticky with beer, air that smells like cigarettes and sweat, and a +

+room pulsing with the tangible electricity of bodies about to fucking /slam/.

Katsuki is nothing if not a grade-A fuckin’ smug bastard, so he figures that all it’ll take to get into the pants of the guy is to just say… anything to him.

“Heard this next band fuckin’ sucks,” Katsuki grunts by way of introduction, jutting out his chin and peering up through kohl-rimmed eyes.

The redhead has a toothy smirk like a damn shark. Looks as dangerous as the gleaming studs and pins dotted down his leather jacket, as dangerous as the well-toned body he’s not even pretending to hide.

“That so?”

“Buncha fuckin’ no-name extras. What say we get out of here and I can /actually/ rock your world.”

Stupid shitty-haired punk Adonis has the audacity to laugh. “Bro, you’re embarrassing yourself.”

Shitty hair walks away, disappears into the gloomy swell bodies across the venue floor and Katsuki loses sight of his prey.

Until he shows up on stage, of course.

Mother. Fucker.

Katsuki’s pride won’t let him just up and bolt like a fuckin poser, so he stays and watches the show. The guy’s band-- well, they aren’t too shitty or whatever. Katsuki has certainly heard worse, not that he’d admit it. +

+ He’s avoiding looking at Shitty Hair as best as he can, but it's like trying to not look at a car crash. Every time he looks up, Shitty Hair is glaring daggers at him. Sexy, evil daggers.

The end of the set has the guy tossing his guitar to someone waiting backstage and flinging himself into a crowd that, of course, catches him. He floats out across the sea of hands and thrashing limbs and beelines straight to Katsuki the second his scuffed boots touch the cement.

Katsuki pointedly stares at the drink in his hand at the bar instead of acknowledging the bassist standing too close behind him.

“M’band’s shit, huh?” he says to the back of Katsuki’s neck, breath hot enough to send a shiver down the blond’s spine.

His grip tightens on the plastic cup. Shitty Hair reaches around him, pries his fingers off, and downs the rest of the bitter liquid in one go.

“Let’s bounce,” he demands.

“Hah?!”

“Fuck. I knew you were all talk, pretty boy like you.”

Katsuki twists around in his seat, hands fisted up in the guy’s jacket collar, in a second. Up close he’s painfully fucking beautiful. Ethereal dark eyes, kickass scar, lips threaded with metal hoops.

“Fuck you,” Katsuki spits.

“No,” he breathes, “I’m the one who is going to be fucking /you/.”

So now they’re crushed up against the ancient brick wall of the alleyway out back, hips kissing as they grind up against each other, mouths open, hungry, and angry.

He said his name was Eijirou between placing purple lovebites across Katsuki’s skin, marking him, claiming him, with the crescent indentation of his teeth.

“You’re a cocky prick, you know that?” Eijirou grunts, sliding a knee between Katsuki’s thighs. “Did you really expect that bullshit to work on me?”

“Didn’t it?” Katsuki frowns, reaching down and squeezing the outline of Eijirou’s erection through his gaudy leopard print jeans.

“Smartass.”

Katsuki laughs, rolls his hips up against Eijirou’s.

“But let’s just see how smart that mouth is, yeah?”

There is a wet kiss shared between them before Katsuki is kneeling on the filthy ground, fingers a blur as he moves to free the generous cock he’s been feeling between his legs. It springs free, thick with the scent of musk, and +

+ something spicy that must be his soap. Katsuki feels his jaw ache at the size, but he’s no fucking quitter.

Katsuki leans in close enough to feel the heat of Eijirou’s skin and looks up to lock eyes with him as he opens his mouth, sticks his tongue out, and licks one fat stripe from his balls to his velvety tip.

Eijirou leans forward, hands pressed against the brick, and groans as he watches Katsuki tease him with dainty kittenlike licks.

“/Shit/, man,” Eijirou laughs, cheeks rosy, as he grabs a fistful of the blond’s hair.

There is a roaring sound as the door to the venue opens a little further down the alley, and a laughing pair of sweaty show-goers stumble out, talking much too loud.

Eijirou hisses and presses himself up closer to the wall, trying to conceal the two of them behind a small mountain of cardboard boxes.

Katsuki scowls and tries to get up, but Eijirou places a firm hand on his shoulder and quirks an eyebrow in challenge.

“You /chicken/?”

Katsuki scoffs, rolls his eyes, and grabs Ei’s cock firmly.

“You fuckin’ wish,” he teases. To accentuate his point, Katsuki silently swallows him whole in one go.

The tight heat of Katsuki’s throat has Eijirou stifling a moan against his fist. He thumbs away a grey, makeup-smeared tear away from the corner of Katsuki’s eye and bites his lip.

“Oh my god, that is so hot. Do you know how hot that is, bro?”

“Fuckin’ calling me bro while I have your dick in my mouth, what the fuck?” Katsuki snorts as he pops off, exchanging his mouth for his hand.

There is a chorus of shouts and giggling from the small crowd gathered on the other side of the boxes as more people join their group.

“Where do you want me to cum, /bro/?”

Katsuki shakes his head in disbelief, “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, man, I’m a gentleman.”

(FUCK IT. POLL TIME CAUSE I JUST HIT 700) where does eijirou cum?

“Just don’t get it in my hair,” Katsuki grumbles. “I’ve got places to be later.”

Eijiro nods and grips Kat’s jaw, pries it open, and shoves his cock between plush pink lips.

Katsuki glowers, choking on the sudden bruising force of the bassist’s generous dick against the back of his throat.

“Shit, yeah,” Eijirou sighs, rutting up against the blond’s mouth. “Shit, bro, yeah, just like that, fuck!”

Katsuki runs his soft palms up the inside of Eijirou’s thighs, kneads them at the juncture between leg and hip, and swallows around him.

“I really wanna kiss you right now, bro, shit, that feels /incredible/.”

Chuffed, Katsuki hums against black curls, lips stretched wide around Eijirou’s aching cock, and bobs his head as his fingers massage the heavy balls slapping his chin. When he feels them start to tense +

+, and Eijirou has his forehead pressed firmly against the wall, gasping out his name, Katsuki pulls back and looks up through lidded eyes.

Eijirou grips the base of his cock and gives it a few good pumps before slapping it across Katsui’s cheek with a quiet chuckle.

“Yer a fuckin’ ass,” Katsuki grumbles, but there is a wicked grin carving up his face. There are footsteps shuffling closer to them and the thrill of discovery has Katsuki nearing creaming his pants.

“Yeah? Well you said my band sucks,” Eijirou grunts.

Katsuki sticks out his tongue and digs into Eijirou’s hips with black polish-flecked nails.

A female voice startles them. “Is someone back there?”

“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Eijirou says a little too loudly, slapping a hand to his mouth and whimpering

Katsuki barely has enough time to close his eyes and mouth before he's being hosed down with Eijirou’s cum.

When Eijirou looks down, he lets out a loud cackle at the way Katsuki’s smeared with thick spend. Ei glances over the boxes and Katsuki can vaguely make out the way he flashes a megawatt grin at someone as he tucks his still half-hard cock into his pants.

That was close.

Katsuki wipes at his face, hand coming away sticky and webbed with cum.

“C’mon, bro, follow me,” Eijirou tells him, helping him to his feet.

He rubs his knees with his clean hand, only then noticing the painful position he’d been in.

“You gonna, like, murder me now?”

“Psh, not in any illegal way,” Eijirou tells him, waggling his eyebrows, as he leads them a little further down the alley and toward an ancient black van.

“Holy shit, you’re really going to kidnap me.”

Eijirou rolls his eyes. “Hah. Yeah, I get it, my van is fuckin’ old. What else am I gonna haul equipment in though?” He opens the back doors and the cab of the van is surprisingly clean and comfortable looking.

The redhead jumps inside and rummages in a bag to procure a washcloth before tossing it to Katsuki.

He catches it, uses the cloth to clean his face, and it comes way glittery and grey from makeup and jizz. Gross.

“So you fuck a lot of strangers in your van, creepy pervert?”

Katsuki settles in next to Eijirou.

“You suck a lot of cock in alleyways, pretty boy?”

The blond laughs and leans back on his palms, “Touché.”

How should Eijirou rock Katsuki’s world?

Eijirou falls back, stretches out, and lets out a content sigh as he scratches his stomach. The sight of Eijirou’s shirt rising up exposing the colorful valley of his hips has Katsuki feeling slightly feral.

“See something you like?”

Katsuki scoffs and straddles the reclined musician. Hands slip up under his jacket, and they work together to ease him out of it.

“Can I kiss you now?”

Katsuki curses at him and begins tugging up his tight shirt. “Shut up.”

When the shirt is tossed aside, Eijirou is pouting, but Katsuki is too transfixed by the whirls of color tattooed across the redhead’s chest and arms to notice.

“Damn,” Katsuki breathes, leaning in close to inspect the patterns. Featherlight fingers trace up and down his golden skin, admiring the artistry.

Eijirou sighs.

Satisfied, Kat sits back with a smug grin. “Yeah, my name’s gonna look real nice tattooed across your chest, kid.”

Eijirou covers his eyes with his arm as he laughs. “Yanno, that’s bad luck, bro.”

“Eh?”

“If I do that then we’re definitely gonna break up.”

Katsuki chokes on a startled noise. “We aren’t dating.”

Eijirou props himself up on his elbow and pulls Katsuki down close enough that the ghost of his lips sends a shiver down his spine.

“Gonna have you buying a ring the second you can walk again.”

“Fuck off,” Katsuki laughs, pushing Eijirou back down to the bed of the van with a flat palm.

Beneath him, Eijirou shrugs and chews on the metal hoops through his lip. He has no goddamn right to look so good. Way too hot to just be laying there.

And, /shit/, Katsuki is still so fucking hard that it hurts.

“Fuck it,” Katsuki growls, pouncing forward to suck on Eijirou’s lip.

Eijirou’s hands roam across Katsuki’s body as the blond’s tongue massages his mouth, and they finally settle on his ass with a firm squeeze.

Katsuki rolls his hips forward, grinds his erection up against Eijirou’s hip and (much to his chagrin) /whines/.

He can feel Eijirou smile against his mouth. “That’s so fuckin’ hot, bro. Make that noise again.”

Katsuki growls, kisses him harder to try to shut him up, but is caught by surprise when he feels a calloused hand pet the outline of his cock. Another sordid whine betrays him.

“Ah, yeah, there you go,” Eijirou praises, “good boy.”

The words feed right into Katsuki’s deep-seated desire to be good at everything, so Katsuki can hardly help the full-bodied moan that escapes him, a disgustingly saccharine sound he’s never heard himself make before.

“You like that, huh?”

Katsuki buries his face in Eijirou’s chest, hoping to hide the shameful blush he’s sure is screwing up his already seriously messed up face.

Fuck this guy— pressing his buttons and shit. Fuck off.

Eijirou pets Katsuki’s hair, runs fingers through the fuzzy shaved underside and pulls him close enough to capture his earlobe between his teeth.

Katsuki whimpers, gooseflesh prickling up and down his arms.

Eijirou is insistent, suckling on Katsuki’s ears, mewling abstract praises and filthy promises, as he encourages Katsuki to rut up against him.

The rear doors to the van are still open and Katsuki doesn’t realize how much he’s sweating until the cool breeze causes him to shiver

“Shit,” Katsuki gasps, rubbing up against Eijirou with almost painful urgency. He’s dangerously fucking close to cumming in his pants.

“You cold? Bet I can warm you up,” Eijirou tells him with an impish grin.

Without warning he wrestles them around so that he’s got Katsuki pinned like a butterfly below him. Trapped, expert hands slip up under Katsuki’s faded shirt to tease at the tender nipples hidden beneath.

“Gonna have you give a proper apology while you’re sweating on my cock,” Eijirou whispers between kisses on Katsuki’s jaw.

There’s that motherfucking bastardass whine again. /Fuck/.

“Maybe if you cry for me I’ll even let you cum,” he sighs, suckling on Katsuki’s already hickey-laden throat. “Would you like that? Think you can be good and say you’re sorry all nice and proper-like? Yeah?”

Katsuki gasps against Eijirou’s mouth, arching up against him desperately, chasing the heat between them. He nods mindlessly.

“You were bad. You’ve got to apologize, baby.”

“S-s,” the words stutter out from between Katsuki’s chattering teeth. “So— /nghhh/.”

“Yeah? C’mon, you can do it.” Eijirou palms Katsuki’s cock, fumbling at the buttons of his waistband.

“Sorr— /ahhhh/——”

“Try again,” Eijirou encourages, sliding the zipper down. “You can do it. Say sorry.”

Katsuki sucks in a breath, moans against Eijirou’s neck and tries valiantly to force the words out of his throat, but only a choked curse emerges.

Eijirou slams Katsuki down firmly, presses a palm to his chest and sits back against his lap, gyrating his hips in a teasing way that has Katsuki’s body pulled tight as a guitar string.

“No,” Eijirou says darkly. “Cocky little pricks who insult their daddies have to apologize.”

And Katsuki fucking can’t handle the way Eijirou is looking down at him, his grimace of disgust betrayed by the glimmer of laughter behind sunset eyes.

“Fuck!”

Katsuki’s hands slam back against the bed of the van as he arches up, whimpers, and fucking soaks his pants with his cum like a goddamn virgin. His body shakes as his orgasm ripples through him, thick spurts of spend practically (horrifyingly) audible.

Soooooo...?

Eijirou glares down at Katsuki, takes in the sight of his soaked pants, and clucks his tongue.

“Damn it, Katsuki. Now you’re going to have to be punished.”

Katsuki nods enthusiastically, chewing on his bottom lip.

Eijirou tugs Katsuki's pants down, soft cock finally uncaged and wet, messy with cum. He tsks at the sight and shakes his head.

“Get on your hands and knees, Katsuki,” he says, sounding a little bored or uninterested, as he grabs a duffel bag shoved behind extra amps and a bottle of half-finished energy drink.

Katsuki rolls around, smearing his mess across the bottom of the van and shivers.

Eijirou gets back into position and admires the view of creamy skin damp with perspiration, ruddy balls and limp dick still dripping from orgasm. +

+ It takes a lot of willpower to keep from diving in between those pale cheeks, but Eijirou knows he must be firm with his disciplinary action so that Katsuki would do better next time.

He’s already quite sure that there will be a next time.

“You okay if I spank you?”

Katsuki rolls his eyes, blushing up to his ears that he had to ask, but nods curtly.

The second he consents, Eijirou sends a hand flying down across Katsuki’s ass. He takes pleasure in watching the way he body shakes, the way redness blooms across his skin. His fingers dig deep into the fleshy globes and rake down to the back of his thighs in angry jagged lines.

His marks assure that there is no way Katsuki will be able to sit down any time soon without the memory of Eijirou splitting him open staring him right in the face.

Katsuki lets out a whimper at the sting and then jumps when a cold slosh of liquid rushes down his crack. In anticipation, he presses his face down against the ground and reaches back to spread himself lewdly.

Eijirou hums pleasantly at the sight, and Katsuki sucks in a breath as he feels the tip of Ei’s cock strains against his entrance.

“Fuck, you’re so tight. I might not fit in you, baby. I might have to break you.”

There’s another one of those /motherfucking whines/.

Eijirou grips Katsuki’s hips and presses harder, panting with effort. He’s hardly breached the rim of Katsuki’s asshole with the head of his cock and already the blond is reaching back desperately for Eijirou.

“You good?”

“Fuckin’. Yes.”

“Cool,” Eijirou sighs and slams his hips forward, burying himself to the hilt inside of Katsuki’s sloppy, ruined hole.

He expects to hear a howl, a curse, or maybe just a sob, but when Eijirou looks down, Katsuki’s cheek is smashed against the ground, mouth open in a silent scream. The surprising lack of noise is somehow even more erotic.

Ei pants, rubs circles into Katsuki’s hips and licks the sweat collecting on his upper lip while he waits for the other man to start breathing normally.

When Kat comes back to life, he grabs his wrists and hauls him up. His breath against Katsuki’s sweaty neck feels like fire.

“You ready to say you’re sorry now?”

Katsuki shakes his head silently.

Eijirou makes a disappointed noise and fucks into Katsuki hard enough that the collision of their bodies sounds like the clapping of hands.

The stretch of Katsuki’s rim burns, stings, and he wants to call Eijirou a multitude of terrible names, except the same ungodly thick cock ripping him in half is also pounding into his prostate with every thrust.

“Apologize like a good boy,” Eijirou warns, “or else.”

Katsuki’s hands scramble back to do god knows what. Slap Eijirou? Pet him? He has no idea, simply watches uselessly as Eijirou slaps them aside. Ei waits for Katsuki to answer him, but when nothing comes, he slips off his studded belt and wraps it firmly around Kat’s wrists.

With a strong hand he presses down between Katsuki’s shoulder blades, forces his face deep into the carpet of the van, and pulls his arms back with the belt as leverage.

Katsuki can only lay there helplessly as Eijirou tears into him, face contorted in another silent cry.

His arms ache, his cheek scratches, his ass burns. Drool pools in his cheek as eyebrows pull up tight and eyelids flutter closed.

“Wow, if only you could see how greedy your asshole is for me, Kat, swallowing me up so nice. Fuck, such a shame you can’t watch.”

Heat coils at the base of Katsuki’s spine. His own cock bobs back and forth as the van rocks on it’s wheels with the strength of Eijirou’s thrusts. The symphony of grunts and heavy breath reverberated through Katsuki’s skull as his lips try once more to form those magic words.

“What was that?” Eijirou asks, voice sweet as honey.

“M’sor-,” Katsuki slurs, spittle wetting his dry lips.

“Oh, so close, baby, you can do it,” Ei cheers, moaning as Katsuki clenches tight around him.

Katsuki gasps as he is reeled back, one of Eijirou’s rough hands gently wrapping around his throat while the other tugs tight on the belt. Like a rag doll, he’s bounced up and down on Eijirou’s cock. It hurts so good that he lets out a stuttering sob.

“Ah, so close, baby,” Eijirou says, kissing the back of Katsuki’s neck.

“/Nnngh/, Katsuki whines, “fuck, Ei- I’m so—sorry! Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Eijirou loosens his grip and settles back so that Katsuki can once more take control.

“Such a good boy.”

Katsuki grins, triumphant tears slipping down his face as he positions himself to ride Eijirou.

“Since you were so good, I’ll cum inside you. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Katsuki nods and fists himself in time with the rise and fall of his body.

“You wanna cum on daddy’s cock, Kat? You wanna make up for before?”

“God- yes- I… /fuck/, Eijirou!”

Eijirou looks at the red marks down Katsuki’s back, at the pretty blush of pink where their bodies keep colliding and he imagines the song he’ll write later.

The view of Katsuki’s supple flesh rippling as he fucks down against Eijirou stirs something primal within him. It urges him higher toward that glittering peak with promises of sweet, sweet release.

“Gonna fill you up so fucking much,” Eijirou grunts, feeling his abdomen tense. “You’re gonna be dripping for days.”

Katsuki clenches down at the sound of the words and finally blesses Ei’s ears with a loud, guttural moan.

Between growls of pleasure, Eijirou cums again, the wet squelching noises as Katsuki continues to ride him louder than even the sound of the van’s tires springing with the movement.

It doesn’t take long for Katsuki to join Eijirou, erupting over his chest, before laying back fully fucked out and buzzing. They lay tangled in a sticky, golden haze long enough for their breath to slow +

+ and then Katsuki is tugging on his clothes and writing a vulgar word on the fogged van windows while he waits for Eijirou.

“Gonna be playing here again next week,” Eijirou says, swatting a piece of limp red hair out of his face and buttoning his jeans.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Wanna come?”

“Several times, I hope,” he laughs, hopping out onto the pavement.

“Gonna say my band sucks again?”

Katsuki considers. “If it’ll get you to do that,” he gestures to the van, “again, then, absolutely.”

“Can’t wait to teach you a thing or two about taste, in that case.”

AND SO THEY HOOK UP AFTER EIJIROU’sS SHOWS ALL THE TIME AND THEN REALIZE LIKE THREE YEARS LATER THAT THEYVE BEEN DATING THE WHOLE TIME OOPS

THE END