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It’s a snow day off from school here. So I’m making my girls watch Indiana Jones (Raiders). Thinking I might need to tweet their movie chatter... 
7yo: Hey look he has a lasso!
Me: It’s a whip.
11yo: Why don’t the other guys have a whip?
Me: Colonialism.
Me: It’s a whip.
11yo: Why don’t the other guys have a whip?
Me: Colonialism.
11yo: Why’s he trying to steal the thing anyways? Is it worth money?
7yo: It’s a sandbag, dude.
7yo: It’s a sandbag, dude.
11yo: Is he gonna make it?
7yo: Of course he will. It’d be literally 2 minutes long if he died.
11: Is he gonna get flattened?
7yo: Of course he will. It’d be literally 2 minutes long if he died.
11: Is he gonna get flattened?
7yo: This part is boooooring.
Me: Yes, teaching undergrads and trying to get funding for a dig is pretty boring.
Me: Yes, teaching undergrads and trying to get funding for a dig is pretty boring.
11 went to make more popcorn.
7 (who is learning about Germany with me this week): Did they say Nazis? I hope there aren’t any in this movie!
7 (who is learning about Germany with me this week): Did they say Nazis? I hope there aren’t any in this movie!
Both: That’s an airplane???
Me: In 1936, yes.
Me: In 1936, yes.
11: Are they drinking alcohol... as a competition?!?
11yo: Who’s that?
Me: Uh, Indiana Jones.
11: Oh. I didn’t recognize him without the hat.
Me: Uh, Indiana Jones.
11: Oh. I didn’t recognize him without the hat.
11yo: Are they cheering for him to die? Whose side is the audience on?!
7yo: Rapunzel time!
Me: What?
7yo: Rapunzel has a frying pan and whacks people with it.
7yo: Rapunzel time!
Me: What?
7yo: Rapunzel has a frying pan and whacks people with it.
Both: Did Marion die?!?!
7yo: Is he gonna get a new sidekick?
11yo: Not the monkey though. He’s evil. A Nazi monkey.
7yo: Is he gonna get a new sidekick?
11yo: Not the monkey though. He’s evil. A Nazi monkey.
11yo: This Belloch guy. Is he gonna stab Indy in the back? Literally or figuratively?
I had to deal with rising bread. Came back. 7yo has peaced out.
Me: What’s happening?
11yo: There’s a guy trying to read the symbols in this tomb.
Me: You mean Indiana Jones?
11yo: Oh is that who it is? I didn’t recognize him.
Me: What’s happening?
11yo: There’s a guy trying to read the symbols in this tomb.
Me: You mean Indiana Jones?
11yo: Oh is that who it is? I didn’t recognize him.
11yo: YES! It’s the pit of snakes part. I remember this from the Lego Indiana Jones video game!
... why’d it have to be ?
... why’d it have to be ?
11yo: He got the ark! He’s invincible! Wait why isn’t the movie over...?
11yo: Why is he taking his shirt off? That’s gross... oh good she’s killing Nazis... uhhhhggggg!
7yo came back: What’s happening?
11yo: Dude just got killed by a propeller! It was gross!
7yo: Is it still the Nazis? Oh gosh.
11yo: Dude just got killed by a propeller! It was gross!
7yo: Is it still the Nazis? Oh gosh.
11yo: Indy’s *literally* riding a white horse as the good guy. **sigh**
11yo: Heroic music! I don’t think Indy is obeying the rules of the road.
Both: Ewwww.
11yo: Oh thank god he fell asleep.
11yo: Oh thank god he fell asleep.
11yo: How’d he do that?
Me: Archaeologist skills.
11yo: Yeah, mom, I’m sure they taught you that in archaeology school.
...
11yo: How do the Nazis not see him?
7yo deadpans: Archaeology skills.
Me: Archaeologist skills.
11yo: Yeah, mom, I’m sure they taught you that in archaeology school.
...
11yo: How do the Nazis not see him?
7yo deadpans: Archaeology skills.
11yo: OMG they did all this for freakin’ magic SAND???
Both: OMG this is disgusting!!!
7yo: How did they film this?
11yo: Animation?
7yo: How did they film this?
11yo: Animation?
11yo: Do the Nazis steal it back?
Me: Nope.
11yo: What happens to it?
Me: It gets put in a warehouse never to be seen again.
11yo: That’s... it? How are there more movies?
Me: Nope.
11yo: What happens to it?
Me: It gets put in a warehouse never to be seen again.
11yo: That’s... it? How are there more movies?
The girls were interested to hear there are more movies. Not sure if I want to show them Temple of Doom though... I thought it was scary as a kid, and as an adult it’s suuuper racist/ethnocentric.
Of course, Crystal Skull is also terrible. I saw it in the theatre with @TiLauraRose and we MTK3K’d it, to the chagrin of those around us. Maybe I’ll tell them there’s only one sequel: Last Crusade.
*MST3K (stupid autocorrect)
