It’s a snow day off from school here. So I’m making my girls watch Indiana Jones (Raiders). Thinking I might need to tweet their movie chatter...

7yo: Hey look he has a lasso!
Me: It’s a whip.
11yo: Why don’t the other guys have a whip?
Me: Colonialism.

11yo: Why’s he trying to steal the thing anyways? Is it worth money?
7yo: It’s a sandbag, dude.

11yo: Is he gonna make it?
7yo: Of course he will. It’d be literally 2 minutes long if he died.
11: Is he gonna get flattened?

7yo: This part is boooooring.
Me: Yes, teaching undergrads and trying to get funding for a dig is pretty boring.

11 went to make more popcorn.

7 (who is learning about Germany with me this week): Did they say Nazis? I hope there aren’t any in this movie!

Both: That’s an airplane???
Me: In 1936, yes.

11: Are they drinking alcohol... as a competition?!?

11yo: Who’s that?
Me: Uh, Indiana Jones.
11: Oh. I didn’t recognize him without the hat.

11yo: Are they cheering for him to die? Whose side is the audience on?!
7yo: Rapunzel time!
Me: What?
7yo: Rapunzel has a frying pan and whacks people with it.

Both: Did Marion die?!?!
7yo: Is he gonna get a new sidekick?
11yo: Not the monkey though. He’s evil. A Nazi monkey.

11yo: This Belloch guy. Is he gonna stab Indy in the back? Literally or figuratively?

I had to deal with rising bread. Came back. 7yo has peaced out.

Me: What’s happening?
11yo: There’s a guy trying to read the symbols in this tomb.
Me: You mean Indiana Jones?
11yo: Oh is that who it is? I didn’t recognize him.

11yo: YES! It’s the pit of snakes part. I remember this from the Lego Indiana Jones video game!

... why’d it have to be ?

11yo: He got the ark! He’s invincible! Wait why isn’t the movie over...?

11yo: Why is he taking his shirt off? That’s gross... oh good she’s killing Nazis... uhhhhggggg!

7yo came back: What’s happening?
11yo: Dude just got killed by a propeller! It was gross!
7yo: Is it still the Nazis? Oh gosh.

11yo: Indy’s *literally* riding a white horse as the good guy. **sigh**

11yo: Heroic music! I don’t think Indy is obeying the rules of the road.

Both: Ewwww.
11yo: Oh thank god he fell asleep.

11yo: How’d he do that?
Me: Archaeologist skills.
11yo: Yeah, mom, I’m sure they taught you that in archaeology school.
...
11yo: How do the Nazis not see him?
7yo deadpans: Archaeology skills.

11yo: OMG they did all this for freakin’ magic SAND???

Both: OMG this is disgusting!!!
7yo: How did they film this?
11yo: Animation?

11yo: Do the Nazis steal it back?
Me: Nope.
11yo: What happens to it?
Me: It gets put in a warehouse never to be seen again.
11yo: That’s... it? How are there more movies?

The girls were interested to hear there are more movies. Not sure if I want to show them Temple of Doom though... I thought it was scary as a kid, and as an adult it’s suuuper racist/ethnocentric.

Of course, Crystal Skull is also terrible. I saw it in the theatre with @TiLauraRose and we MTK3K’d it, to the chagrin of those around us. Maybe I’ll tell them there’s only one sequel: Last Crusade.

*MST3K (stupid autocorrect)