Logging into my military email today and seeing the unread emails that APPEAR TO BE FROM A REPLY ALL

Ah, it begins with a simple "my Microsoft Teams doesn't work so, I'LL ASK EVERYONE ON THIS NGB DISTRO"

Instead of stopping the madness, named recipients FORWARD THE MESSAGE ON while ALSO being confused why they're on the distro

At this point, it all appears to be civilian National Guard employees replying all to each other in confusion about why they're getting this email

OH NOW PATIENT ZERO HAS REPLIED ALL asking us to please delete

Sorry, once the Pandora's box is open, there's no closing it. We're all on this ride together

Ah, Missouri has chimed in to be the ADULT IN THE ROOM to tell everyone to stop replying all

Which is basically just

GEORGIA into the history books with the first "please remove me from this distro," a plea for mercy into the dark void where only misery exists

Louisiana weighs in with an appeal to decency, and I quote:

"THE POOR LADY DID A 'REPLY ALL.' PLEASE STOP EMAILING EVERYONE, EVERYONE. SHE DIDN'T KNOW. STOP REPLYING TO HER REPLY ALL"

DUDE WEIGHS IN TO REPLY ALL TO SAY THAT HE BELIEVES SOMEONE ELSE OF HIS SAME NAME IS MEANT TO BE ON THE DISTRO, NOT HIM

this is approaching absurdist levels

HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL, WE HAVE AN ADJUTANT GENERAL COMING IN FROM THE TOP ROPE IN AN APPEAL FOR SANITY

"I feel obligated to commit the exact son I'm about to rail against"

West Virginia taking trolling to the next level with "Good luck on your teams account" reply to all

Truly boss status

At this point, we've all committed to the nightmare

The countless desperate pleas of "please stop replying all" messages are continuing

They are but the pitiful screams that feed the Outlook gods

Phyllis has intervened to tell us that all is good, no worries, and I'll be honest, I envy her zen. I really do.

Arkansas with the timeless "Stop being dumb and responding to these emails"

I'm sorry, Arkansas, dumb was issued in double allotments today

Oh good, the Deputy J6 of an entire state just replied all, telling us how distro lists work

Burn it all down

Ok, reading this never ending chain, I'm beginning to wonder how anything actually gets done around here. I'm losing my remaining faith in the human race.

Someone just said good morning and it's 1500.

It's... It's still going

There's an E6 from Louisiana who's absolutely trolling ME with just a "Good morning Team" reply all

There are still people replying all. STILL.

Apparently deductive reasoning is just something that doesn't happen for some people.

I'd like to thank the E-5 from Oklahoma and the E-7 from Alabama and now the E-5 from Washington for destroying my faith in the NCO Corps by continuing to reply all

We've got California's senior enlisted advisor and an O-5 from NGB appealing for sanity, a cyber dude telling everyone how to ignore these threads, and an Alabama E-6 talking about the friends he's made from this debacle

Ok, now there's just a straight conversation going on that can be summarized as "maybe the real friends were the emails we read along the way"

Logging in today and...

What in the hell...

ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY NEW EMAILS???

The Help Rhonda Reply-All of 2021 is going to go into the books as one of the greatest disasters in National Guard history

Although, it appears that about 2100 EST yesterday, the whole thing just turned into

A recruiter from Texas just tried to recruit people's family members by replying all

Aaaaand at 2217 on 28 JAN, the first memes begin

Connecticut fires first with some Bernie Mittens

Oklahoma fires back with a variation on a similar theme

This is from an O-5, btw, in case you want to know how deep in the chaos we have sunk

Oh, and now the other side of the O-5 coin - we've got one threatening anyone who replies all with a formal counseling

IT'S 2313 ON JAN 28 AND WE'VE FINALLY GOTTEN A "TELL ME YOUR UNIT" FROM THE GRUMPY O-5 TO A REPLY-ALL

oh ffs

Cranky O-5 from the Virgin Islands is replying all to everyone with "tell me your supervisor/battalion commander"

He's ordering people to stop replying

Everyone else:

ALL RISE in respect for the E-5 from Oregon who ADDED another NCO to the reply all hell, this demonstrating that the National Guard can always be counted on to add just a little bit of havoc to already existing chaos

Respect for the colonel from Colorado who simply replied

alert! Another major general has sucumbed to the madness and thrown his oar in, asking for this madness to be tamed

Sir, can you tame the wind?

What we have now are majors who are fully intent on INCREASING the chaos, replying with full snark, with such things as "Please keep me on this distro" and "Good morning!" and "I'm learning so much"

Thus demonstrating that some people just want to see the world burn

Well. I stepped away for two hours. Came back.

The emails have ceased.

I am cautiously hopeful.

But I think we all learned a lesson from this. Probably the wrong lesson, tho