One time at a church event I had my phone plugged in and was using it to text with the cord wrapped around a wall and everyone thought it was funny and cute that I was “so dedicated to texting my boyfriend”

I didn’t tell them that if I didn’t text him constantly, I would face days of ridicule being told I did not care about him, that I had to be better and do better, and I would have to spend weeks making it up to him and asking him if I was a better girlfriend yet.

I also didn’t tell them he was judging the things I ate, how much sugar I put in my morning tea and had notifications on for when I posted on Instagram or twitter so he’d know if I was still using my phone after I told him good night - which I’d get in trouble for.

And during all of this, I had NO IDEA I was being abused. I thought the mental turmoil he was putting me through was something I deserved. I thought I was a horrible girlfriend who needed to “learn” how to love him.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this but please just be kind to people when they open up to you. Going through trauma and recognizing that trauma is something that will stay with me forever and being shut down when you try to speak to loved ones about it is a slap in the face.