In late 2020, I finally started medication to help with my anxiety. It was the best decision I've made. For a long time I believed that so long as I wasn't completely falling apart and able to get through the day that I wasn't a candidate for medication 1/* #BellLetsTalk

So I let my anxiety go on for years longer than necessary because it was how I'd always been and I'd "managed" it just fine. I'd gotten good grades, I'd been able to get into law school, I was married, and by all accounts was "successful" and "doing well". 2/* #BellLetsTalk

I thought if I went to a doctor to explain what was going on, particularly with my lack of focus and my constant worry, that they'd think I was drug seeking and laugh me out of their office. I also thought I'd need a diagnosis by a psychiatrist. #BellLetsTalk 3/*

In the winter of my 1L year, my anxiety was so bad, I would have panic attacks doing tasks like: riding the CTrain in downtown YYC at Christmas or going to the grocery store alone. I was scared constantly for my safety. But I STILL didn't go to see anyone. 4/* #BellLetsTalk

The belief was so deeply engrained that I still didn't see this as a problem that medication could treat. I brushed it off over and over. It wasn't until I my psychologist in YQL, 4 years later finally began to explore why I hadn't ever tried medication. 5/ #BellLetsTalk

And in Nov of 2020 I approached my family doctor with my concerns. I was near tears the entire time. So nervous that my fears would come true. She refused to give me anything until she did a full physical...5 weeks later. I was crushed. 6/ #BellLetsTalk

But finally, in December, she determined that I had severe anxiety and moderate depression. I was relieved but defeated at the same time. But now in late January, I'm seeing so much improvement. I'm upset with myself that I didn't get help earlier. 7/ #BellLetsTalk

I'm always a little worried people will think less of me because of the stigma, particularly in the legal profession, but medication is helping me to be the best me I can. It is helping me focus more on serving my clients well and practicing law well. 8/ #BellLetsTalk

So if you're not doing well, don't brush it off. Explore your options. You never know what might help. And as always, my inbox is open. 9/9 #lawtwitter #BellLetsTalk