I'm not sure why but I've been thinking a lot about a woman in politics who I connected with just as I was moving to DC for college nearly 10 years ago. She took me to dinner and we talked about politics and the potential of an internship. Then, as an awkward and nervous 18 y.o..

I blurted something about college that was probably a bit too personal, but that was making me nervous. She replied something like, "do you just tell everyone that??" I was horribly embarrassed. But looking back, people I've mentored have told me far more personal things...

and I helped them through it and talked with them about it because, in my mind, if it was on their minds and they wanted to talk about it, I had no issue. She instead used me for a research project then ignored me, thinking I was too weird. For a long time, I'd thought I'd...

been in the wrong and ought to have known better. Then I realized. She was an asshole. Like what kind of person shames someone they're guiding for confiding in them?? Like what an absolute psycho. Seriously. People who don't give understanding and grace to growing people are...

monsters. I'm sure others have been through this. But know - if someone mentoring you or in a similar position is being an asshole, fuck them. Play nice, but know they're an asshole. It's not on you. I don't hear anything from her these days, but she and others she was close...

with were clearly gossiping about me, freaking me out that I'd killed my career. But the fun part — within a few years they were sucking up to me. So lesson is basically don't be an asshole to people looking to you for help.