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A few years ago a friend graciously, and publicly, confronted me online about a phrase I used, claiming it cultural appropriation. My first reaction was to engage with defensiveness and indignation, because it was a common phrase and I felt like I was being ‘attacked’ 1/X
For my language rather than her continuing a conversation where we were already on opposing sides. However, I had been recently trying to view that feeling of defensiveness and indignation as my brain’s way of telling me to do the work rather than to react emotionally 2/X
so instead of replying out of my indignation, I started researching the phrase. To my dismay, she was right. I was guilty of cultural appropriation, and that day two things happened. 1) I never, ever used that phrase again and 2) I resolved (imperfectly of course) to 3/X
pause when I feel indignation rise within me and sit with that feeling, to do the work of unpacking whether I’m feeling indignation because I am right or because I have a vulnerability or fallacy in my position.
I ended up returning to the conversation where I was called out 4/X
I ended up returning to the conversation where I was called out 4/X
to thank the person for educating me. I don’t always get online engagement right, but that day I did, and that day I learned first hand that to the reactionary, accountability feels like persecution and that I needed to dismantle my own fragility if I wanted to be an 5/X
individual who lived out the values I claimed to hold.
This week, as with most weeks, I have seen accountability be eschewed to further an agenda and the thoughtful criticism of engaged constituents be reacted to in concerning ways. So I’ll say it again, in a new way. 5/X
This week, as with most weeks, I have seen accountability be eschewed to further an agenda and the thoughtful criticism of engaged constituents be reacted to in concerning ways. So I’ll say it again, in a new way. 5/X
when we engage with our emotions and ego first, accountability feels like an attack. When we engage with humility, accountability can lead to collaboration, education and understanding.
I know this because I have lived it, not because I want to hold others to a standard 6/X
I know this because I have lived it, not because I want to hold others to a standard 6/X
I won’t hold myself to, but because I value the civic responsibility of productive discourse deeply and want our discourse to drive progress. I, personally, have SO much learning and growth ahead of me, and I never want my own fragility to stand in the way of that. Furthermore 7/
I never want to condemn anyone as being a ‘bully’ for holding me accountable to who I claim to be, what I claim to represent, or who I desire to represent. I try not to impose my personal convictions on everyone, because I know we are not all on the same journey. However 8/X
I do have higher expectations of those who run for public office, I expect those running to represent their constituents to respond with a focus on being accountable to those they represent or desire to represent rather than respond out of ego or defensiveness and I believe 9/10
discourse to that end to be an integral part of civic engagement as it is, to me, the duty of an engaged constituent to hold their elected officials to a higher standard of conduct, and to expect accountability and productive dialogue in return. 10/10
An addendum: I want to be clear that I have major issues with tone policing, especially of individuals directly impacted by harmful positions, actions & verbiage. The line between tone policing & accountability can be thin, but it’s imperative to me that I strive to hold it well.
