Let me explain what is happening with hedge funds and Redditors with a non-econ, non-math analogy. Imagine the stock market as an eco-system.

In this eco-system, buffalo are companies. The Ox-pecker which eats buffalo ticks and hitches rides on it are its consumers.

"But how does the stock market work???"

Every time the lions get hungry, they attack a herd of buffalo. They don't have to bring down all the buffalo. They just need to find the sickest one (and also unlucky) and feast on it. The lions are broadly speaking the market.

The oxpeckers than go ride on another buffalo. And the lions are happy for a day. What remains of the buffalo: bones, bone marrow, little bits of connective tissue, tough meats and such are eaten by... vultures (you know who the vultures are so...)

The vultures have a very efficient way of finding carcasses to eat. They sore really high above the ground and scan the ground below. As soon as one sees a carcass and starts descending, every other vulture that sees it does the same. The carcass is gone in minutes.

So ecosystem, right? Buffalo graze, oxpeckers live on buffalo, lions come to hunt buffalo and takes the weakest/sickest one. Vultures finish off what's left off after the lions have eaten.

Buffalo = Companies
Oxpecker = Consumers
Lions = Market
Vultures = Vultures

If you are an oxpecker and the lions come for your buffalo, you think, "Tough luck. Our buffalo just couldn't make it in the savannah because it was too sick or too weak. Time to move on to another buffalo. Hat tip to you, my vulture friends."

But that's what the vultures WANT you to think.

In reality, the vultures can't just see carcasses. They can also notice when a buffalo is sick or weak. IF a buffalo is left alone, in time, it might recover. Or get lucky and hide or something.

In the rule in the savannah as I mentioned is that the lions only have to be faster than the slowest buffalo. When the vultures see that a buffalo is even the SLIGHTEST bit slower than a lion, that buffalo is fucked.

One vulture starts circling it, then another, then another, then another. Soon, the sky above a certain place is covered in vultures. The lions know exactly where there's a buffalo slower than them. They move towards where the vultures are.

Now remember, if the vultures just keep flying around and wait for a carcass, the lions would never know that there's a buffalo around that's sick. Furthermore, the buffalo can possibly recover from the illness or wound or broken bone without being found out by lions.

The fewer vultures over a sick buffalo, the less lions are interested in chasing it. But the more vultures circle, the lions think, "Shit, that dude's gotta be REALLLLY sick."

So it's not the lions OR the buffalo that determine which buffalo the lion chases.

It's the vultures.

As soon as they see a sick buffalo, they will fucking make sure lions know where the buffalo is.

In fact, as the lions get closer, the vultures start descending around the buffalo to accurate pinpoint the buffalo's location for the lions.

Once the lions are done eating the bulk of the buffalo, they leave. The vultures then pick apart what's left behind.

But what can oxpeckers do? A dozen of them cannot stop a pack of lions. They just sadly move to another buffalo, losing their friend and comfortable home.

If you look at oxpeckers, they look like they are mad. ALWAYS. Like, they just look fucking mad. See:

Enough of them realized what was happening and decided that the eco-system had been rigged against them by the vultures.

In fact, they realized it was THEY who should get to decide which buffalo was healthiest. After all, they were the fuckers who lived on the thing 24/7.

Their plan is this:

For the eco-system to be balanced so the lions don't eat any buffalo at the whim of the vultures, the oxpeckers would band together and whichever buffalo the vultures picked as the next victim, they would collectively go sit on that buffalo.

Sitting on the buffalo is the equivalent of #stonks. This is a sick buffalo. The vultures HAD decided that it had to die. The lions have arrived. WHY are so many oxpeckers gathered round a dying buffalo? Maybe this is actually an UNBELIEVABLY AMAZINGLY AWESOME buffalo!

Maybe the lions see this and think, "JESUS! Forget attacking this buffalo. What if we even stare at it and it uses its fucking laz0rs to vaporize us? I mean, a normal buffalo has got like 4-5 oxpeckers. This one's got

But the lions are hungry. And once summoned, the lions have got to be fucking fed. So the lions go after the next biggest pray item sitting around: the vultures!

The vultures bet that the buffalo would be eaten. Instead, it is THEY who get to be eaten.

GameStop was the first buffalo the oxpecker army of Reddit sat on to intimidate the market that is the lion so it would go eat the vultures.

And yeah, the vultures are hedge funds.

But this is the first buffalo in the savannah. And the lions only got like a couple of vultures. Because vultures as you know can fly.

The oxpeckers are thinking, we only do this a few times and the lions will eat the vultures and either the vultures leave or starve to death.

But that's only a plan. A lot of things could go wrong.

For one, the vultures and lions are not dummies. They can talk. What if they sit down together and decide, "We go after the oxpeckers! Those fuckers can't be allowed to dictate terms to us!"

And mind you, 9,000+ oxpeckers sitting on the buffalo will likely kill the buffalo. The buffalo might act individually instead of collectively and decide they don't want to be sacrificed for the oxpeckers' plan.

(Bathroom break)

The next time oxpeckers see a buffalo being chosen by the vultures and try to get near the buffalo, the buffalo might kick them off? It might run away. It doesn't want to be sacrificed for the oxpecker.

Most important, this plan might stay with just these 9,000 oxpeckers. Other oxpeckers in the savannah might refuse to play along, fearing they might become targets of the vultures and lions. OR What if it hurt the delicate balance of the eco-system. Maybe the vultures know best?

Who knows! Eco-systems are extremely complicated and interconnected in surprising, wonderful and TERRIFYING ways. What we know is that these 9000 Oxpeckers have collectively said FUCK YOU to the vultures. They are different oxpeckers like you and me.

Some of these oxpeckers use extreme vulgar language, some are homophobic or misogynistic... some are ... NAZI Oxpeckers. And some of the oxpeckers might actually be vultures in oxpecker disguise...

But for once, the oxpeckers hurt the vultures. The same vultures who have never given a fuck about how we feel about our homes being eaten away from under us. How we feel about having to part from friends to search for a new buffalo.

For too long have oxpeckers been reduced to hanging off the scrotums of taller creatures like pic related.

And if you are an oxpecker... any kind of oxpecker... whether one of the 9,000 or not. Whether you are a Nazi Oxpecker or a normie oxpeckter, an oxpectaku, or a Ushitsutsuki... it's a good day to be an ox-fucking-pecker!

I really do hope the buffalo survives, though. It has oxpeckers depending on it who will lose their home if it dies. It's a brick and mortar buffalo so if it tanks, a lot of people are gonna hurt.

Seriously, they ALWAYS LOOK MAD! WHY ARE YOU MAD>??? YOU HAVE FOOD IN YO MOUF!

/thread

Addendum: Actual vultures are not assholes. They are beautiful, intelligent and affectionate beings that perform a vital function in keeping eco-systems healthy. And if they have emotions, they are more like the most noble feels we aspire to and nothing like hedge funds.

If this thread FINALLY allowed you to understand what the fuck is going on with GameStop and you wanted to support my failing writing career, my venmo is Josh-Shahryar.

Here's a baby oxpecker because they're heckin' cute!