I have now received paychecks from Georgetown University for the net amounts of $0.00 and $5.27.

Not unrelatedly, every one of my spouse's and my doctors are demanding payment in full for all services for months.

Buckle up, because this is going to be a wild ride of a story.

Between 2019 and 2020, I was employed as staff at an institute of Georgetown Law, in a full-time, benefits-eligible position.

I left my position in April, which was unfortunately while the semester was going on (and I'm also an adjunct at Georgetown - not at the law school).

Before I left my position, both my supervisor and I notified the appropriate offices in writing of my end date and requested that they process my resignation from the system.

Someone in HR confirmed in writing that they would indeed take care of it.

LITTLE DID I KNOW.

Two weeks after my last date, I received a direct deposit of my regular salary pay plus adjunct pay. Because I'm an honest person (and one afraid to get into deep shit for running afoul of certain kinds of laws), I reported the accidental salary payment immediately.

I was informed that I would need to return the accidental salary payment, which, OK, fine. I asked how and when.

They told me to hang on and wait until they could confirm the method by which I should return payment.

No one said anything.

I followed up.

Nada. Zip. Zilch.

The next two week period passed, and there wasn't another accidental salary payment.

So, naïve fool that I am, I assumed that even though I'd have to pay back the accidental payment eventually, someone had finally processed my resignation and all was good and well.

HAHA nope.

Unbeknownst to me, I was somehow still listed in the HR management system as a full-time, benefits eligible employee at the law school.

The only change was that my salary amount was set to $0.00 thereby preventing the system from accidentally generating another salary paycheck.

I forgot entirely about the entire affair by the time December rolled around.

I mean, to be fair, during this time period (April-December 2020), lots of people I knew died, I was stuck in quarantine, my spouse lost their job, and god knows what else all happened.

As an adjunct, I co-taught a class in fall 2020 as part of a special initiative the provost rolled out to try to create community for incoming students facing another all-virtual semester.

Weirdly enough though, I'd never actually been told what the pay would be for this course.

In December, I received the official course offer letter for my Spring 2021 course ... before I received the same letter (backdated, basically) for the Fall 2020 course.

Then my first fall adjunct payment came: gross pay $1569 to date, net $0.00.

When I saw the payslip, I DIED.

The pre-tax deductions and post-tax deductions were for premiums for a health, vision, and dental plan I'm not supposed to be eligible for anymore as an adjunct instructor, plus other cost-bearing benefits.

*It wasn't even the amount of the salary overpayment.*

(Tangent: Health, dental, and vision care shouldn't be things we're stuck paying for at all, or reliant on employers to have access to, but in our capitalist, ableist hellscape, here we are.)

MEANWHILE, in April 2020, I'd started a new full-time, benefits-eligible job somewhere else.

And like everyone else who gets health insurance through an employer, I signed up right away.

I informed all my providers of my new insurance info and told my partner to do the same.

Once again, I naively assumed that all was well, and the change over would be pretty seamless, but for possible changes to exact copay amounts, and how much our deductible might be, all that ordinary, boring exploitative shit.

HOO BOY WAS I WRONG.

In December 2020, my therapist told me that my current employer's health insurance plan company told him that it's direct debiting thousands of dollars out of his bank account. The company said the payments were made in error, because I am covered by another insurance carrier.

Also in December 2020, my current employer's health insurance plan sent me two letters directly, and a third from an investigation agency, stating that they'd initiated Coordination of Benefits because I had a primary insurer through Georgetown, and my current plan is secondary.

I called my current employer's health insurance plan company and explained the situation. A surprisingly kind person told me they could help but only if they (a) receive confirmation from the other insurance company that I'm not covered; or (b) receive a letter from Georgetown.

READER, I HAVE CONTACTED NO LESS THAN 10 DIFFERENT PEOPLE AT GEORGETOWN.

I've contacted the HR offices at the law school and the main campus (where I teach), the faculty/staff benefits office, and god knows who else at this point.

Everyone I've spoken to or emailed at Georgetown is very polite and perfectly professional.

Everyone then either refers me to yet another person or office, or actually tries to help only to realize they literally can't fix the issue; someone else has to.

Meanwhile we've had several doctors contact us both (partner and I) telling us that my current employer's health insurance plan company is either about to take back their money, or has already done so.

Some providers have demanded we pay the total cost of care, in full, at once.

Last week, my partner was experiencing severe and distressing pain. They went to urgent care, and not thinking anything of it, offered the current insurance card (through my current employer). Insurance coverage denied.

We had to pay out of pocket on the spot or else.

(Side note: Yes, we absolutely have some level of privilege simply be being able to pay for urgent care on the spot, where many many other people could not do that and would have had to leave. But we still shouldn't *HAVE* to.)

Most recently, I've learned that to change my status to a non-benefits eligible employee, someone at Georgetown has to remove me from both the former full-time job AND the additional job as an adjunct.

But no one will do the latter? And I'm teaching currently this spring.

Then there's still the total mess over me owing Georgetown the salary overpayment from last year, but also, the amount of money Georgetown probably owes me for the premiums for health, dental, and vision plans I wasn't supposed to be on in the first place, once I left the job.

Anyway, we just got called up by two MORE of our doctors today (we're both disabled, so, doctors happen...) demanding money.

No one is fixing it.

And I just got a paycheck for $5.27 net pay from Georgetown because they're still deducting premiums!!!

I
AM
SCREAMING

And just to be very clear, I don't have anything against the individual employees at Georgetown who are all mired in the same bureaucratic fuckery and bullshit as me, incapable of taking care of the necessary changes due to THE BUREAUCRATIC MORASS OF DEATH AND DESPAIR.

but let me tell you, three years of law school and many more of policy work did NOTHING to prepare me for the sheer level of farcical nonsense and incomprehensibly circular, self-defeating bureaucracy slowly ruining my life over the last two months, or, really, the last year.

Can someone at Georgetown please just FIX YOUR HR SOFTWARE to prevent these problems from literally every happening to another human being again?

(Side note: I officially hate GMS)

OK so to reiterate, the problem is NOT FIXED.

More of our doctors are going to be demanding/expecting payment for all their services of the last several months.

The current employer's health insurance plan company WILL NOT pay any of them until Georgetown fixes their mistake.

While we definitely have some level of privilege (e.g. I have a salary), we are not rich and do not have a pile of money sitting around to pay all the doctors for all the care that was supposed to be paid for by insurance.

And even if we stop seeing all providers from here on out, we're still going to have to pay them all back for what the insurance plan paid over the last several months, and then will have recouped (by direct debiting) due to us still being listed as covered by Georgetown's plan.

May I additionally mention here that my partner and I are both multiply disabled and neurodivergent, so the mere fact that I've made all these calls and sent all these letters, by itself, is a ridiculous amount of labor and spoons expended WITHOUT A SOLUTION.

And again, to reiterate, the people I've talked to at Georgetown are not the problem.

This is a SYSTEMS and PROCESSES problem. Georgetown's HR software is fucked apparently. Their processes for end of employment are fucked. And our society's model of health "care" is fucked.

I am a lawyer with loads of access to formal education, and oddly specific, significant experience dealing with administrative, insurance, and related processes.

This is still happening to me.

Imagine how much worse these systems are for people who lack my education privilege.

To add another layer of fuckery, my current employer's health care plan company has said that were it the case that we were supposed to be covered by Georgetown's plan still, we should be submitting all claims to Georgetown's plan first THEN any remaining amount could be covered.

But we *can't* submit any claims to Georgetown's plan, because if we do so, then we're submitting claims to a company that isn't supposed to be providing us with health insurance, so if/when Georgetown fixes my employment records, that would be considered fraud.

WE'RE STUCK.

We're stuck in insurance limbo due to being covered (on paper) by two plans, since one of those plans is not supposed to be covering us at all.

[screaming incoherently into the void forever]

Also I don't want to even begin to think about how fucked up our taxes are going to be from 2020...

I also want to add that I *love* teaching. I love my students. And I know I have so much to offer.

When I got student evaluations for the fall 2020 course I co-taught, one student wrote, "please keep these professors teaching, at all costs."

Last spring, a student added this note to a short paper they turned in: "Thank you Lydia for exposing me to some of the most life-changing readings and materials I’ve ever had in my life. I feel so much more confident and informed since taking your class."

I want to stay.

Another student evaluation last spring said, "Lydia has been the most understanding and supportive professor during this weird time. They changed their course readings to fit the situation [...] They has truly created the best learning environment I have ever experienced"

And another eval last spring, "Lydia is incredible. I feel blessed that I was able to have them as a professor. Everyone should be able to take a class with them. I have never met a more accomplished and knowledgable professor...

... Lydia is an inspiration. Please have Lydia continue to teach courses at Georgetown. Lydia does education right. Everyone needs to be more like Lydia to create a better world."

I'm not perfect. But I do my best to offer students what I wish I'd always had.

I deserve better.